


Headspin

by dandelionfairies



Series: Headspin [1]
Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Band, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Brother/Brother Incest, Closeted Character, Falling In Love, Homophobia, Incest, M/M, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2019-10-23 18:29:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 34,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17688626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandelionfairies/pseuds/dandelionfairies
Summary: Zac is living his dream… well, mostly.  Okay, maybe not so much.  He suffers from depression and anxiety.  On top of that, he has major trust issues.  Not that he lets anyone see that.  He doesn’t like anyone to see him when he’s at a low point.  Well, Avery does, but that’s different.  He has one thing going for him… his record shop, Headspin.Taylor’s a photographer.  He loves his job for the most part.  But in his personal life, he’s always lived a lie.  He’s had to.  His family would never approve of him.  It’s why he married so young.  He can’t regret that, though.  He has his daughter because of the marriage.  The marriage was over before it even started, but his ex-wife is still his best friend.Their lives change the day Taylor walks into Headspin.





	1. Alone

Zac is flipping through his personal records to find something to play for the morning when he hears the bell on the door ring indicating that someone has come in.  He assumes it’s Avery seen as she’s starting soon, but she doesn’t call out like she normally would. “Welcome to Headspin Records,” he calls out to let the customer know that he’s there.  He quickly decides on one of his Three Dog Night albums, Harmony to be exact. He makes sure that it starts, Never Been to Spain belting out, before he stands and walks toward the front of the store.

 

As he reaches the front, he spots the customer who’d walked in.  Zac is surprised by the feeling that hits him. He’s not normally attracted to men who he would consider ‘hipsters’.  The blonde man flipping through the records is most definitely a hipster; in appearance anyways. The man has on a pair of white pants.  Who wears white pants these days? The button-down shirt he has on is fitted and tucked in, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Zac frowns as he looks down at his own outfit; torn jeans and a faded t-shirt.  What a way to appear for a customer, though this isn’t his normal customer.

 

“Can I help you find anything?” Zac asks.  He watches as the man turns toward him, grinning to himself when he hears a slight gasp.  

 

“Umm…” the man says.  “I don’t know. I’m looking for a gift for my nephew’s birthday.  My brother is getting him a record player and I thought I could get him a few records.”

 

“How old is he and what kind of music does he like?”

 

“He’s turning fourteen.  I don’t know about music.  I’ve never really heard him listening to music other than what his Dad and I have going.”

 

Zac nods.  “Okay.” He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans.  “I say go for what you like. Or even get one of a band you like and then a gift card.  That way he can come in choose something.”

 

The man nods.  “That sounds good actually.”  He pulls his phone out of his pocket when it rings.  “Excuse me, I need to take this.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Mr. Garrison, hello.”

 

Zac walks over to the counter to let the man have his privacy.  He sits down on the stool and drums his fingers on the counter in rhythm to the music.  He can’t help but keep his gaze on the blonde as he continues to talk on the phone. He chews on his bottom lip as he sees his shirt tighten around his bicep with his movement.   _ Damn _ .

 

“So where would I find some classic rock?” the blonde man asks as he steps over.  “Maybe some Led Zeppelin or The Band.”

 

Zac raises an eyebrow slightly.  Hipster likes good music at least.  He slides off the stool and walks around to lead the way to the classic rock section.  “This is everything in our classic rock. It should be separated by letter, but that doesn’t always last.  And I haven’t had a chance to go through everything.”

 

“Great, I’ll have a look.  Thanks.” 

 

Zac nods before walking away again.  Hipster couldn’t get away from him fast enough.  Had he caught Zac watching him? Had he realized Zac was checking him out?  Great, just what he needed to lose a customer before he even bought anything.

 

* * *

  
  
Taylor walks into the record store he’d been told about and looks around.  He’s amazed at just how many shelves there are of records. He hadn’t realized how popular they were becoming again; not until Isaac told him that he’d planned on getting Gavin a record player for his birthday.  

 

“Welcome to Headspin Records,” a voice calls out from somewhere near the back of the store. 

 

Taylor walks over to one of the shelves and starts flipping through the records.  He’s never even heard of most of these bands. Where were the records he grew up listening to?  He smiles when he hears Never Been to Spain start playing. Now there’s a good song. 

 

“Can I help you find anything?” the same voice asks.

 

Taylor turns, gasping slightly at the sight over the long-haired man.  He hadn’t meant to let the gasp slip out. He takes in the sight of the man standing before him; torn jeans with a faded t-shirt.  His long, dark hair falls over the sides of his face. “Umm…” Taylor says with a shrug. “I don’t know. I’m looking for a gift for my nephew’s birthday.  My brother is getting him a record player and I thought I could get him a few records.”

 

“How old is he and what kind of music does he like?”

 

Taylor wrinkles his nose.  That’s a good question. “He’s turning fourteen.  I don’t know about music. I’ve never really heard him listening to music other than what his Dad and I have going.”

 

The other man nods.  “Okay. I say go for what you like.  Or even get one of a band you like and then a gift card.  That way he can come in choose something.”

 

The man nods.  “That sounds good actually.”  Taylor pulls his phone out of his pocket when it rings.  “Excuse me, I need to take this.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Mr. Garrison, hello.”  Taylor steps away from where they’re both standing. 

 

“Mr. Hanson, I’m sorry to bother you at this hour,” Troy Garrison says.  “I know the last thing you probably want to do is think about photos right now.”

 

Taylor grins.  “No problem, Mr. Garrison.  What can I do for you?” As he talks with the man on the phone, he can feel eyes on him.  The nervous jump of his stomach makes him want to run and never look back. He finishes his call before walking over to the counter.  “So where would I find some classic rock? Maybe some Led Zeppelin or The Band.” He follows the man to another section of the shelves.

 

“This is everything in our classic rock.  It should be separated by letter, but that doesn’t always last.  And I haven’t had a chance to go through everything.”

 

“Great, I’ll have a look.  Thanks.” He’s thankful when the man walks away.  He couldn’t be near him right now. Maybe coming here was a bad idea.  But this is the only record place in this area. He finds two albums he likes before walking up to the counter.

 

“Find something?”

 

Taylor nods.  “Yeah, thanks.  Can I get a gift card too?  Let’s say fifty?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Taylor watches as the man rings everything up before telling him his total.  He pulls his card from his wallet and slides it over.

 

“I’m putting a flyer in your bag as well.  We’re having our one-year anniversary sale coming up.  Have some local bands playing and there will be prizes.  Feel free to come.”

 

Taylor nods.  “Thanks.” He takes the bag and walks out of the store quickly.

 

* * *

  
  
Zac walks out of the store after finishing the day up.  After locking the door, he makes his way down the sidewalk toward his apartment.  He’s glad to have a place only a couple blocks away. It means he can actually walk to and from work instead of catching a bus or taxi.  He didn’t have a car here in the city. The car he had owned he gave to his sister after moving here.

 

The store had a good day today.  Better than they had for a while now.  He hopes it’ll continue like this. Luckily he knows that he’s the only record store in the area, so he doubts they’ll go out of business.  However, with the way the world goes, he can never guarantee anything.

 

After making a quick stop to pick up some dinner at the Chinese place beneath his apartment, Zac makes his way up the stairs.  He unlocks his door and steps inside. He sets his take out bag on the coffee table before walking into the kitchen to grab a pop.

 

As he’s eating, his mind wanders to the man from this morning.  He never did get his name. Why hadn’t Zac looked at his card? Right, because Hipster wanted to get out of there.  He takes a bite of his fried rice and shakes his head. He probably scared Hipster off. As if he needs another reason to build a wall.  He grabs his phone to send a text to his sister.

 

_ Is there something wrong with me? _  He hates himself for sending it, but it’s too late to take it back now.  He isn’t too surprised when his phone starts playing the ringtone he’s set for Avery.  “Hey,” he answers.

 

“Zachary Walker, why would think something is wrong with you?”

 

Zac sighs.  “I’m single.”

 

“So am I.”

 

“Yeah, but you’ve had a boyfriend recently.  When was the last time I had a boyfriend? When was the last time I had a date?”

 

“When was the last time you got laid?”

 

“Avery!”  Zac lets out an exaggerated sigh.  “I’m being serious.”

 

“Zac, any man would be lucky to have you.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.”

 

“What guy is gonna want a thirty-year-old with mental bullshit and trust issues?”

 

“Thirty-one-year-old.  Almost thirty-two.”

  
“Thank you for pointing out that I’m old.”

 

Avery laughs softly.  “Zac, you are not old.  Listen to me. You’re a catch.  Wait, where is all of this coming from?  Did you meet someone?”

 

“No.”  He answers the question way too quickly and way too nervously.  “Well… I may have seen a cute guy at the store today. And I may have been checking him out.  Which may have led him to noticing I was checking him out. Apparently Mr. Fucking Hipster isn’t gay.”

 

“Your gaydar failed you.”

 

“Avery…”  He drags a hand through his hair.  “I don’t know why I bother to talk to you.”

 

“Do you want me to come over?”

 

“Please?”

 

“I’ll be there in twenty.”

 

* * *

  
  
Taylor stares down at the flyer for the anniversary sale at Headspin Records.  At least now he has a name to go along with the face, Zac. Why does he even care to put a name to the face?  He doesn’t have to bother answering his own question. It was obvious that Zac had been checking him out this morning.  Taylor wanted to run out the very moment he figured it out. Instead he practically pushed Zac away. He made himself look like a fool.

 

It’s at times like this that Taylor wishes he could talk to someone about how he’s feeling.  How he’s feeling? No, more like needing someone to talk to about the fact that he’s confused.  

 

He’d been married young, at the age of nineteen to an eighteen-year-old girl who he wasn’t even in love with.  He thought it was the right thing to do at the time, for his parents’ sake. He thought if he was married they wouldn’t notice that he was different.  Hell, he even had a child to try to make it full circle as a straight man. But something was always missing. He’d never give up his daughter. Of all the crap that’s going on in his life, Madeline is the one good thing.

 

He couldn’t even talk to his brother, Isaac.  Shouldn’t that be the one person who he could talk to about all of this?  But no, he had to hide his confusion from his own brother because Isaac is one of those that’ll use the term fag in conversation.  While his family isn’t very religious, they’re very closed minded in that way.


	2. Scared

Zac smiles at the customer he had just finished with.  “Thanks for coming,” he says. He looks over at Avery who steps up behind the counter.  “I can’t believe how busy we are.”

 

“I can,” Avery says kissing her brother’s cheek.  “People love you and this store.”

 

Zac grins.  “Glad you think so.”  He gestures toward the room.  “Wanna switch?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

He nods as he grabs his phone to stick in his pocket.  He hears the band coming to the end of their set. “Who’s next?”

 

“You are.”

 

“Right.”

 

“Hey, there’s a cute guy over by the classic rock, you should go check him out.”

 

Zac rolls his eyes.  “You’re insane and I hate you.  I thought Zoe was coming to help us so you could play with me.”

 

“Zoe’s here,” Zoe says walking over.  “Trying to get through this crazy crowd.”  She kisses Zac’s cheek. “Congratulations.”

 

“Thanks.  I’m going to go mingle for a bit while the band tears down.”  He walks around the counter and looks around the room. This is amazing.  He never thought he’d have a turnout like this. As he’s scanning the customers, his eyes land on the one person he never thought he’d see again.  Sure, he wanted to see him and he wanted to see him here today, but he never thought it would happen. He sucks in a deep breath as Hipster looks over.  Before Zac can walk over to say hello, he sees a young girl pulling on Hipster’s hand. He frowns a little. Maybe he’d had this man all wrong. Great.

 

Zac steps up to the microphone, smiling when he hears his sisters screaming from the counter.  He straightens his guitar strap. “If you ever need fans, just ask your siblings,” he says. “Um… first of all, I just want to thank everyone for coming out today.  If you don’t already know, my name is Zac and I own Headspin Records. So, yeah. Here we go.”

 

As Zac starts to sing, he can see Hipster watching him with the young girl standing in front of him.  He looks away before he puts himself too deep into those blue eyes. He finishes a few songs before taking a step back.  He looks over to see that Avery isn’t busy at the moment.

 

“All right, Avery, get back here.”  He watches as sister walks over to him.  He hands her the guitar. “And if you don’t know, this is one of my sisters, Avery.  I told her that she had to join me up here.”

 

“I’m only doing this so he’ll play my song,” Avery says.

 

Zac chuckles as he moves over to the keyboard.  As he sits down, he can see that Hipster is still standing there.  Of course he had to be standing near the keyboard. He adjusts the microphone stand.  “All right, Avie Baby, you ready?”

 

“Always.”

 

‘ _ Juliet, you’re my love I know it’s true _

_ Around you I don’t know what to do’ _

 

Zac glances out to the crowd during the song to find Hipster watching him.  He meets the man’s blue eyes, holding them as he continues to sing. He only breaks eye contact when the song comes to an end.  He turns on his stool and looks at Avery. “I think it’s time for one of our drawings. I hope everyone remembered to add their names to the bowl.”

 

Avery sets the guitar on the stand before grabbing the bowl Zoe brings over.  “This one is for a gift package that includes five of Zac’s favorite records, a gift card for Headspin Records, and a gift card from Zac’s favorite Chinese restaurant.”

 

Zac snorts.  “I didn’t know you stuck that one in there.”  He reaches into the bowl and pulls a folded paper out.  “All right, let’s hope this person is still here.” He looks down at the paper.  “Taylor Hanson.”

 

“Daddy!  You won!” a young girl shrieks.

 

Zac laughs as he looks around.  His laugh and smile fade when he sees that it’s Hipster and the young blonde girl.  He was really off on Hipster. Not only is he not gay, but he’s a father. He takes the basket from Avery and steps over to where Taylor is.  “Congratulations.”

 

“Thanks,” Taylor says as he takes the basket.  He turns to walk back over to his group.

 

“Can we leave now?” the other man with him asks.  “Get away from all the fags here.”

 

“Isaac…”

 

Zac frowns as he turns away.  “Avie, I’m going to step outside.”

 

Avery looks at him.  “Okay. You okay?”

 

“Yeah, just need some air.”

 

* * *

  
  
Taylor frowns as he watches Zac push his way through the crowd and out of the store.  He lets out a heavy breath knowing it’s because of Isaac’s comment. “Madeline, stay with Uncle Isaac.  I’ll be right back.” He hands her the basket. “Keep an eye on this for me.”

 

“Okay, Daddy.”

 

Taylor walks through the crowd and makes his way outside.  He finds Zac leaning against the building with a cigarette between his lips.  He walks over. “Hey.”

 

Zac looks at him and raises an eyebrow.  “Hi?” He takes a drag of his cigarette.

 

“I just wanted to apologize for my brother.”  Taylor gestures behind him. “He doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.”  He frowns when Zac snorts.

 

“You think I haven’t heard that before?”  He shrugs. “I’ve been getting called a fag my entire life.”

 

Taylor flinches when Zac makes the last statement.  “Doesn’t mean…”

 

“Daddy,” Madeline says running out.

 

Taylor looks over.  “I thought I told you to stay with Uncle Isaac?”

 

“Uncle Isaac wants to leave.  But I’m not ready.”

 

Taylor sighs and nods.  “We don’t have to leave yet.  Uncle Isaac drove himself.”

 

“Good.”  Madeline looks at Zac.  “I liked when you sang.”

 

Zac smiles at her.  “Yeah? Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

 

“You’re pretty.”

 

“I am?  Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

 

“Do you like boys?”

 

“Madeline Rose,” Taylor growls.  “Go back inside.” He runs a hand through his hair as Madeline simply shrugs and heads back inside.  “Sorry about her.”

 

“Stop apologizing.”  Zac finishes his cigarette.  “If anyone should be apologizing, it’s your brother.  But we both know that’s not going to happen.” He shakes his head.  “I have to get back inside.”

 

“Zac…”

 

“Look, I’m a fag.  I get it. Don’t worry I won’t corrupt your daughter.”

 

Taylor frowns as he watches Zac walk back inside.  He walks back in himself to see Zac behind the counter once again.  He isn’t sure why he feels the need to make things right. He watches Isaac walk over with Madeline and Carter.

 

“Ready?” Isaac asks. 

 

“Actually, I think Madeline and I are gonna hang out for a bit,” Taylor answers.

 

“Suit yourself.  Keep your daughter away from the owner.”

 

Taylor simply nods as Isaac and Carter leave.  He looks down at Madeline. “Well, we’re still here.  Now what?”

 

“Let’s look at records.  They’re awesome.”

 

Taylor laughs as he follows Madeline over to the shelves.  “I think it’s time Daddy buys a new record player.”

 

After looking around for a little while longer, Taylor decides it’s time to check out and head home.  He looks at Madeline as they wait in line. “Did you have fun?” he asks.

 

“Yes.  Daddy, can we come back here?”

 

“I’m sure we can.”  He steps up to the counter and sets the records he has on the counter.  He smiles at the girl behind the counter.

 

“Zoe, take a break,” Zac says walking over. 

 

“Thank God.  Mom would hang you if she knew how you were treating me.”

 

“At least you’re being paid.”  Zac looks across the counter and sighs.

 

“Good timing,” Taylor mutters. 

 

“What’s your name?” Madeline asks.  “Daddy says I shouldn’t talk to strangers.  But if I know your name you wouldn’t be a stranger anymore.”

 

“My name is Zac.  And your Daddy is right.  You shouldn’t talk to strangers.  What’s your name?”

 

“Madeline Rose Hanson.”

 

Taylor grins when she gives Zac her full name.

 

“That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful person.”  Zac grabs a bag. He takes Taylor’s credit card. “Now we aren’t strangers anymore.”

 

“Daddy, tell him your name.”

 

“Madeline…”

 

“His name is Taylor Hanson.  Taylor’s actually his middle name but that’s what he goes by.  Do you go by your middle name too?”

 

Taylor covers Madeline’s mouth.  “I think that’s enough talking for now.”  He blushes as he looks at Zac. “Sorry. But yes, my name is Taylor.”

 

Zac nods.  “Zac Garrett.”  He hands Taylor the bag.  “You’re all set. Thanks for coming in.”

 

* * *

  
  
Zac watches Taylor and Madeline walk out of the store.  The man was nervous around him. He has to wonder about that.  Maybe he hadn’t been so wrong about him. After hearing Taylor’s brother, it would be obvious why Taylor wouldn’t say anything.  He shakes his head and sighs. Why is he even analyzing it? He doesn’t care.

 

Avery locks the door after the final customer leaves.  “Wow,” she says. “That was an amazing day.”

 

“It was,” Zac says with a smile.

 

“So what’d you think of the guy I pointed out?  He’s the one that won your basket.”

 

Zac sighs as he looks at Avery.  “Remember the guy I told you about?”

 

“Yeah?  Oh my God, that was him!”  She smiles. “He’s cute. And his daughter is adorable.  You gonna go for it?”

 

“Go for a guy that has a brother who called me a fag?  Go for a guy who obviously isn’t out? No, I think I’ll pass.”

 

“Maybe he’s just scared.”

 

“And maybe he’s one that’ll never come out.  I can’t go through that again, Avie.”

 

“But maybe he just needs someone to help him.”

 

“We’re done with this conversation.”


	3. Denial

Taylor follows Madeline into the Chinese restaurant.  He’s surprised to find that there isn’t an empty table.  “We might not be able to eat here, Madeline,” he says. “We can get it to go.”

 

“But it’ll be cold by the time we get home,” Madeline whines.  Her eyes widen when she looks past Taylor. “Zac!”

 

Taylor looks behind him to see Zac walking in.  “Zac,” he says softly.

 

Zac gives them a small smile.  “Well, hi there,” he says.

 

“What are you doing here?” Madeline asks.  “We can’t stay. There’s no room for us. But I don’t want to get take out.  It’ll be cold.”

 

Taylor smiles at his daughter.  “Why don’t you stop talking so Zac can actually respond?”

 

Zac grins.  “I’m here for the same reason you are, Madeline.  Food. Yeah, it’s hard to get a table in here. But that’s okay because I live upstairs.  What do you say you and your Daddy order food and we can all head up there?” Did he really just ask that?

 

“Daddy, can we?”

 

Taylor looks at Zac to make sure it’s actually okay before nodding.  “Yeah, sure. Thank you.”

 

“No problem.”

 

Taylor follows Zac and Madeline up the stairs.  He hates to let himself let his gaze fall to the way Zac’s jeans tighten around his backside with each step up.  He can’t help himself though. Zac makes him question everything he’s ever known.

 

“Sorry for the mess,” Zac says as they walk into his apartment.  “Don’t usually have guests. And when I do it’s my sister. She grew up with my mess.”

 

Taylor grins.  “No problem.” He’d say he was a single man once, but he doesn’t even remember those days.

 

Zac sets the take-out bags on the coffee table, his eyes landing on the DVD case that’s still sitting there.  His eyes widen as he grabs it quickly, hoping Madeline hadn’t seen it. As he turns toward his guests, it’s obvious that Taylor had caught a glimpse of it.  He blushes as he walks past Taylor. “Sorry,” he mutters. 

 

Taylor simply nods as he watches Zac shove the DVD case into a cabinet by the TV.  “Lead me to the kitchen and I’ll help get drinks and stuff.”

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

“Madeline, wait here, okay?”

 

“Sure, Daddy.”

 

Zac walks into the kitchen.  “Do you want a fork? I don’t know about you, but chopsticks and I don’t get along really well.”

 

Taylor looks over.  “Yeah, I hate chopsticks.  Madeline will want to try using them, but she will need a fork too.”

 

“Sure.  Listen, I’m sorry about that.”

 

“What?”  Taylor swallows hard.  He hadn’t wanted to think about it again, but he knows Zac will continue.

 

“You know what.  I just…” Zac rubs the back of his neck.  “I don’t normally have anything like that.  But my sister decided she wanted to help me out.”  He blushes again. “Anyways, sorry.”

 

Taylor shakes his head.  “Don’t worry about it. Just glad Madeline didn’t see it.”

 

Zac nods.  “For what reason?”  He hadn’t meant to ask the question, but it was out of his mouth before he could stop himself.  “The fact that it’s porn or the fact that there are two naked men on it?”

 

Taylor stares at Zac.  “Umm…”

 

“Right.”  He gestures to the fridge.  “Pop’s in the fridge. I also have milk and juice if Madeline doesn’t drink pop.”  He reaches in to grab a can of Dr. Pepper for himself. “Help yourself to whatever you want.”

 

Taylor watches Zac.  “You don’t understand, Zac.”

 

“I understand perfectly.  Don’t worry I won’t corrupt your daughter.”  He shrugs.

 

Taylor looks back onto the couch a while later, frowning when he sees that Madeline had fallen asleep.  He really shouldn’t be surprised, however. He’d seen how comfortable she was the second they saw Zac. He glances over to see Zac stand up and start clearing the food.  He stands up to help, following Zac into the kitchen.

 

“Thank you for letting us come up for dinner,” Taylor says.

 

Zac nods.  “No problem,” he responds.  He gestures toward the living room.  “She’s a great girl. You and your wife must be very proud.”

 

Taylor snorts a little.  “Ex-wife. But yes, we are.”

 

“Sorry, guess I just assumed.”

 

Taylor shrugs.  “I’ve been in denial for a long time.”

 

“Obviously.”  Zac closes the fridge after he finishes getting the leftovers in.  “Suppose I can’t blame you after hearing your brother.”

 

“He’s not a bad guy.”  Taylor leans against the counter.  “I know that sounds like a line, but it’s true.  My brother’s a good man.”

 

“What if it’s not your brother I’m worried about?”  Zac meets Taylor’s gaze. “I’m more worried about what it’s going to do to you.”  He moves to step in front of Taylor. “When are you going to realize that you don’t need to hide?”

 

“I’m not hiding.”

 

“No?  Taylor, how long were you married?”

 

“Ten years.”

 

“Ten years.”  Zac stares at him in shock.  “You were married for ten years and you aren’t hiding?”  He shakes his head. “You’re still in denial.”

 

“And you were never in denial?”

 

“For a year… when I was thirteen.”

 

“You’ve been out since you were thirteen?”

 

“Well, fourteen, but yeah.”

 

“How old are you?”

 

“Thirty-one.”

 

Taylor frowns.  “Oh.”

 

“Your turn.”

 

“Thirty-four.”  He looks down. “I should go.  We’ve intruded on your night enough.”  He walks past Zac and into the living room.  He carefully lifts his sleeping daughter.

 

* * *

  
  
Taylor walks into Headspin and looks around.  He sees the dark-haired girl that had been there for the special they had a couple weeks back.  Avery, he believes. Zac’s sister. He approaches the counter carefully.

 

“Good afternoon,” Avery says.  She smiles at Taylor. “Can I help you?”

 

“Um…”   _ Just be honest with her. _  “I was actually looking for Zac.”

 

Avery watches him carefully.  “Zac’s not here today. He took the day off.”

 

Taylor frowns as he nods.  “Oh, okay. Thanks.”

 

“You’re Taylor, right?”

 

“Yeah.”  He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his pants.  “Yeah, I’m Taylor.” He shrugs. “Thanks again.” He turns and starts to walk to the door.

 

“He’s at home.”

 

He turns again and looks at Avery.  “Excuse me?”

 

“He’ll kill me if he knows I told you.  But he’s at home. You can go there to see him.”

 

Taylor smiles a little.  “Thanks, Avery.”

 

“You remember my name?”

 

“In the business I’m in, remembering names is a good thing.”  He winks at her before walking out. Zac’s at home. He knows where home is.  He can walk the two blocks to his place. 

 

Taylor stops when he reaches Zac’s door.  Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. What was he thinking?  He wasn’t, that’s the problem. He sucks in a deep breath before finally knocking on the door.  After waiting for a few moments, he knocks again.

 

“Coming,” Zac calls out.  “Damn it.”

 

Taylor frowns a little when he hears something crash from inside.  He’s about to say something when the door opens. He gasps when he sees Zac standing there in nothing but a towel around his waist.  He clears his throat. “Um…”

 

“Taylor,” Zac says surprised.  “Um… Come in.” He moves to the side to let Taylor in, closing the door when he does walk in.  “Um… gimme a minute and I’ll be right back out.”

 

“Yeah, sure.”  Taylor walks to the living room and sits down on the couch.   _ What the hell were you thinking, Taylor _ ?  He runs a hand through his hair as he stares down at his hands.  He wants to run, get as far away from here as he possibly can. He actually contemplates making a run for it, but Zac returns then.

 

“How’d you know I was here?” Zac asks.

 

“Um… well…”

 

“Avery.”  Zac chuckles.  “Not surprised.”  He sits down on the other end of the couch.  “So what do I owe for this visit?”

 

Taylor looks down at his hands again as he shrugs.  “I don’t know.”

 

Zac raises an eyebrow.  “You don’t know? I think you do know but just scared to admit it.”

 

“That’s possible, too.”  Taylor looks over. “I um…  I’m trying, Zac. I just can’t be open.”

 

“Start simple then, Taylor.  When did you know?”

 

Taylor lets out a soft breath.  “I was seventeen when I started having doubts.”  He shrugs. “I had this girlfriend in high school.  We um… we started fooling around, but I couldn’t get anything to happen.  Talk about embarrassing. What seventeen-year-old boy can’t get it up for anything?”  He snorts. “I thought maybe it was just her.”

 

“But it wasn’t.”  Zac watches Taylor.  “You obviously made it work with your wife.”

 

“Yeah, I guess so.  But it was never right, you know?”  Taylor shrugs. “I can’t say I regret marrying her.  I got Madeline out of it. But… Amber didn’t deserve that.  I definitely got lucky with her.”

 

“So you two are still close?”

 

“We’re friends.”

 

“And she knows?”

 

“She knows.  I think she may have always known.”  Taylor looks at Zac, panic flowing through him.  “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” He stands up and walks out before Zac can say anything.


	4. Try

Zac walks into Headspin the next morning to find Avery already there.  “I hate you,” he says. “I really hate you right now.”

 

Avery looks at him.  “What?” she asks.

  
“How could you tell Taylor where I was?”  He shakes his head. “Don’t look like you don’t know what I’m talking about.  You knew why I needed a break yesterday. You know I needed to be by myself.”

 

“I just thought the two of you could help each other out.”

 

“And as you can see that worked so well.  He came over, started talking, and ran. And then I kept myself up all night panicking as I tried to figure out what I did wrong.”

 

Avery frowns.  “I’m sorry, Zac.  I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

 

Zac sighs.  “I know you didn’t.”  He sits down on the stool behind the counter.  “Is there something wrong with me?”

 

“Zachary, we are not having this conversation again.”  She hugs him. “It’s okay.” She pulls back when the bells on the door ring.  She turns around, surprised to find Taylor stepping inside.

 

Zac frowns at the sight of Taylor.  After the other man had run out the previous night, he thought for sure he’d never see him again.  He stands up as Taylor approaches the counter.

 

“Can we talk?” Taylor asks.

 

“That depends,” Zac answers.  “You gonna run out again?”

 

“I make no promises.”

 

Zac sighs but nods.  “Avie…”

 

“Go,” Avery says.  

 

Zac gestures toward the curtain at the back of the store.  He leads Taylor back where there’s a small couch and chair.  “Have a seat.”

 

Taylor sits down on the couch.  “I wanted to apologize for yesterday.”  He looks down at his hands. “I shouldn’t have shown up like that in the first place.  And then I ran because I got scared.”

 

“Scared of what?”

 

“Myself.  I don’t know how to open up.”

 

“The first step is to admit it to yourself.”

 

“I have.”

 

“No, you haven’t.  Not fully.” Zac watches Taylor closely.  “I’m not saying scream it to the world. But saying it out loud to yourself is a good step.”

 

“I’ve never been with a man.”

 

“But you’ve obviously imagined it.”

 

Taylor nods slowly.  “I have. Can I ask you a question?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“When you first started… imagining it, how was it?”

 

Zac raises an eyebrow.  “What do you mean?”

 

“I mean…”  He’s nervous.  He’s not sure he’s ever been this nervous before.  “I can’t. I’m sorry, I can’t say it.” He drops his head to his hands.  He wishes he could open up to Zac.

 

“You busy tonight?”

 

“What?”  He looks at Zac quickly.  “No.”

 

“Come over to my place.  It’s obvious that you’re trying.  If you’re willing to try, I’m willing to help you.  I think spending time together will help you get comfortable with opening up.  At least to yourself and possibly me.”

 

“Okay.”  Taylor takes a shaky breath.  “What time?”

 

“Six?  I’ll order some Chinese.”

 

“I’ll be there.”  He sighs. “Thank you, Zac.  I don’t know why you’re doing this.”

 

“Me neither.”  

 

* * *

  
  
Taylor knocks on Zac’s door.  He can hear talking inside. Does Zac have someone else there with him?  Is he interrupting? When the door opens, Taylor has his answer. Zac is standing there with his phone to his ear.

 

“No, because I didn’t order it,” Zac says into the phone.  He waves Taylor in.

 

Taylor steps inside, closing the door behind him.  He watches as Zac walks back into the living room and lift a stack of papers up.

 

“I have my order right in front of me,” Zac says.  “Jenna, come on, I’ve been ordering from you guys for a year now.  When have I ever ordered anything in that amount?”

 

Taylor sits down on the couch as he continues to watch Zac.  The man is obviously annoyed, but he’s keeping it professional.  Zac hangs up after another minute and plops down on the couch beside Taylor.

 

“Fuck,” Zac mutters.  He groans as he runs a hand over his face.  “Sorry about that.” He looks at Taylor.

 

“No problem,” Taylor responds.  “Everything okay?”

 

“Order gone wrong at the store.  It’ll get fixed.” He shrugs. “No Madeline?”

 

“She’s with her Mom this week.”

 

“Works out well for me then.”

 

Taylor frowns.  “What do you mean?”

 

“I can ask you questions that I wouldn’t dare with her around.”  He smirks when Taylor’s eyes widen. “I have to run down and get the food.  Help yourself to anything you want to drink. I’ll be back.”

 

Taylor runs a hand through his hair as he watches Zac walk out.  He lets out a heavy breath and stands up. What questions could Zac possibly want to ask that he wouldn’t if Madeline was here?  Okay, that’s a dumb question. It’s obvious what kind of questions Zac could ask. Is Taylor ready to answer the questions though?

  
He moves to stand at the entertainment center where Zac has pictures up.  It’s obvious that Zac is close with his sister, Avery. Even the other sister, Zoe if Taylor remembers right, shows up in several pictures.  There another man that shows up in several. He’s sure it’s Zac’s brother because they look similar. Taylor isn’t that close with his siblings.  Sure, they get along just fine, but they don’t hang out very often. Of course, he’s been avoiding Isaac because of the way he talks. Taylor knows he should stand up to his older brother, but he can’t actually do it.  As for Jessica, she’s off traveling with her husband most of the time.

 

Zac returns a few minutes later just as Taylor is walking out of the kitchen with a can of pop.  “Perfect timing,” he says with a smile.

 

Taylor grins.  “Looks that way.  Want me to grab you one?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Taylor returns to the living room after grabbing another can of pop for Zac.  He sits down on the couch as Zac pulls everything from the bag. “Did you get enough food?”

 

“I wasn’t sure what you wanted.  Besides, I like their food.” He shrugs as he moves to sit down beside Taylor.

 

“You have a lot of pictures up.”

 

“I guess.”  Zac shrugs.

 

“Have you always been close with your sisters?”

 

“Depends on how you look at it.  Avery and I have been for the most part.  Typical sibling issues. But we’re close. Would probably have to say she’s my best friend.”

 

“Not Zoe though?”

 

“It’s different with Zoe.”

 

“How so?”

 

“I was twelve when she was born.”  He looks at Taylor. “It’s crazy because there’s an age difference between all of us.  I’m five years older than Avery. She’s three years older than Mac. And Mac’s four years older than Zoe.”

 

“How is it being the oldest?”

 

“Better than being the middle child according to Avery.”

 

“I can agree with that.”  Taylor laughs softly. “I’m the middle child.  You obviously know Isaac. And then we have a younger sister, Jessie.”

 

“You close with them?”

 

Taylor shrugs.  “Not extremely. We get along fine, but…”

 

“Obviously I know what’s up with Isaac.  But what about Jessie?”

 

“She travels with her husband a lot.  So I don’t get to see her much. But even growing up it was different.  Jessie and Isaac were close. I was just kinda there. Maybe because deep down I always knew.  Or maybe it was because I was open to everyone.”

 

“So your entire family is like Isaac?”

 

Taylor sighs.  “I wouldn’t say that exactly.”

 

“What would you say?”

 

“Isaac is very outspoken.”

  
“Got it.”  Zac looks at Taylor.  “He ever call you a fag?”

 

“Not in that context.”

 

“Doesn’t make it okay.”

 

“I know that.”  Taylor sighs. “I know.”

 

“You know there’s nothing wrong with you being gay, right?”

 

“Yes… no… I don’t know.”  He drops his head to his hands.  “You must think I’m an idiot.”

 

“Not at all.”  Zac takes a bite of his egg roll as he watches Taylor.  “I think you’re confused. Did your parents tell you it was a sin?”

 

“More or less.”  Taylor looks over at him.  “They’re very… religious and closed minded.  If they knew I was even talking to you they’d probably send me to church to go to confession or something.  And maybe I should.”

 

“Taylor…”

 

“Maybe I should confess to someone that I’m gay.”

 

Zac smiles at him.  “You just confessed to me.”

 

Taylor smirks.  “I suppose I did.  You make it easy for me to just talk.”  He shrugs. “I’m sure you get that all the time though.”

 

“Not really.”  Zac watches Taylor closely.  “Avery tells me, but she doesn’t count.”  

 

Taylor laughs softly.  “I suppose not.”

 

It’s nearly ten when Taylor is finally getting ready to leave.  He looks at Zac as he opens the door. “Thanks for letting me come over,” he says.

 

Zac nods.  “You’re welcome.  I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other.”

 

“Probably.  I’ve already promised Madeline we could make another trip to Headspin.  I’m not sure whether she loves the store or you.”

 

Zac smiles.  “Well, either way, I’m happy.”

 

“Hey, one more question.”

 

“I will not kiss you just so you can say you’ve kissed a man.”

 

Taylor blushes at that.  “Umm… not what I was going for.”  He licks his lips nervously just at the thought of kissing Zac.  “Umm… I’m looking for a new record player. Was wondering if you had any suggestions?”

 

“Oh, yeah.  Guess it really depends on what you’re looking for.  Next time you’re in the store I can show you some. I don’t sell them, but I can point you in the right direction.”

 

“That would be great.  Put a camera in front of me and I could talk for days about it.  I’m at a loss when it comes to musical things. I like music, but I can’t play anything to save my life.”

 

Zac laughs.  “I know nothing about cameras, so we’re even.”

 

“Suppose so.”  Taylor grins. “Anyways.  I’ll see you later.”


	5. Fag

Zac doesn’t sleep that night.  How could he? What is it about Taylor that makes him want to just drop the brick wall?  At least that’s what Avery keeps telling him he has. Of course, his thoughts of letting Taylor into his bubble sends him into a panic attack.  He’s actually surprised the attack hadn’t come with Taylor there.

 

Luckily, Avery is opening the store today so he doesn’t have to be there quite as early.  That doesn’t stop him from being there shortly after opening. As he walks in, he can see Avery flipping through a stack of records at the counter.

 

“Hey,” Zac says.

 

Avery looks up and frowns.  “You look like hell,” she responds.

 

“Oh good, because I feel like hell too.”  He sits down and groans. “I didn’t sleep.”

 

“This is more than no sleep, Zac.  You had a panic attack.” 

 

He hates that Avery could read him so easily, especially when it came to his panic attacks.  He tried to keep them from her, but she always knows. “Yeah.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Taylor came over last night.  I just…”

 

“You like him.”

 

“I barely know him.  But when he’s around I want to…”

 

“Drop your brick wall.”

 

Zac frowns.  “I do not have a brick wall.”

 

“Keep telling yourself that.”  Avery watches him closely. “Zachary…”

 

“Okay, maybe I do.  But can you blame me?”

 

“No, but you can’t close everyone out.”

 

“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”

  
“You know what I mean.”

 

“I know.”  He sighs. “His family is religious.  To the point that he said if they knew he was even talking to me they’d like send him to church for some kind of confession or something.”

 

“I get that.  But it’s obvious that he’s trying.  You see that, right?”

 

“Yes.  That’s why I’m taking the chance to at least hang out with him.”

 

“Good.”  Avery kisses Zac’s cheek.  “How much do you love me?”

 

“That depends.  What do you want?”

 

“There’s a concert Saturday that Zoe wants to go to.  She’s afraid to go alone.”

 

“Go.  I’ll handle the store.”

 

“You’re sure?”

 

“Avery, go to the concert.”  He looks at her. “We should do some advertising.”

 

“What kind of advertising?”

 

“I don’t know.  Just… something.”

 

“Well, when you figure out what kind of advertising, let me know.”

 

“Will do.”

 

******   
  
Taylor takes his glasses off and rubs the bridge of his nose.  He’s spent the last two hours looking at the pictures he’d taken for the Donovan property.  How did his life get to this point? In the beginning, his work had meant everything to him.  But now? He almost dreads having to answer the phone for his clients. Maybe it’s time for a change.  Not in the field he’s in, but the area of the field. Maybe he should venture from the real estate side of photography.  It definitely wasn’t his first choice when he first started. It just happened to be what he found.

 

When his phone rings, Taylor drops his head forward and groans.  He grabs his phone from the coffee table, frowning when he sees just a number flashing.  It’s a number he doesn’t recognize. He debates letting it go to voicemail, but now he’s curious.

 

“Hello?” he answers.

 

“Hi,” the voice says.

 

Taylor's stomach jumps at the familiar voice.  He licks his lips nervously. “Zac, hey.” How’d Zac get his number?

 

“I hope you don’t mind me calling.”

 

“No, it’s fine.  Just surprised.”

 

“Surprised myself to be honest.”

 

Taylor smiles a little.  “I do have to ask… how’d you get my number?”

 

“I did something I should never do.  When you entered the contest for one of the baskets you had to write your number down.  It’s something that I should never do, but I couldn’t help it.”

 

“Well, I don’t mind.  Should have probably given you my number anyway.”

 

“Same here.”  

 

“I should let you know that Madeline is very mad at us.”

 

Zac chuckles.  “And why is that?”

 

“Because I saw you the other night and she didn’t.”  Taylor’s smile widens when he hears Zac’s chuckle turn into a full blown laugh.  “The look she gave me was quite amusing.”

 

“Oh wow.  That’s hilarious.  So are you grounded now?”

 

“You would think so.  Every time I even go near the door she asks me where I’m going.  Like I’m going to leave her alone at home.”

 

“Well, you never know.  How old is she? I don’t think I ever asked.”

 

“She’s six.  She would also like to know if you want to come over this weekend for dinner.  She wants to see you again.”

 

“I can’t this weekend.  Working the store Saturday and Sunday I’ll be at my parents for family dinner.”

 

“I didn’t think you’d work on Saturdays.  I mean outside of the special day a couple weeks ago.”

 

“Normally I don’t.  Or if I do, it’s just in the morning.  But Avery needed the evening off, so I told her I’d work for her.  Maybe dinner next week?”

 

“Yeah, absolutely.  We could do it during the week if you want.  Just not Monday. She’ll be with Amber Monday.”

 

“How’s Wednesday?”

 

“That’ll work.  Just let me know if there’s anything you won’t or can’t eat.”

 

“Will do.  Text me your address and let me know what time to be there.”

 

“I will.”  Taylor smiles to himself.

 

* * *

  
  
Zac pulls into a driveway of the address that Taylor had texted him.  He stares at the house as he finishes his cigarette. He takes a deep breath before he climbs out of the car and heads to the front door.  Reaching up, he knocks. He runs a hand through his hair as he waits for Taylor to answer. When the door opens, he can’t help but suck in a deep breath.

 

“Hey,” Taylor says.  “Come in.”

 

“Thanks.”  He steps inside and looks back as Taylor closes the door again.  “I’m glad I have Avery’s car. It’s a bit of a hike from the train station.”

 

“You don’t have a car?”

 

“Well, technically this is my car.  But when I moved downtown, I gave it to Avery.  I didn’t need it anymore. Plus, I don’t have to pay for a parking spot this way.”

 

“That’s always good.”  Taylor smiles. “I didn’t realize you didn’t have a car.  I’m sorry.”

 

“No, it’s fine.  She’s at the store tonight, so she doesn’t need it right now.”  He follows Taylor through the front hall into the kitchen. “You’re missing someone.”

 

“I’m surprised she hasn’t come running in yet.  She’s in her bedroom. I figured once she heard someone knock she’d be the one at the door.”

 

Zac smiles.  “Maybe I should go surprise her.”

  
“Go for it.”  Taylor points to the hall.  “Straight ahead. She’s at the end of the hall.”

 

“Okay.”  Zac walks down the hall.  When he reaches Madeline’s room, he leans against the door jamb.  He smiles at the sight of her playing with her toys. “Your toys must be very interesting if you’re ignoring me.”

 

Madeline looks up quickly.  “Zac!” She stands up and runs over to him where she jumps into his arms. 

 

Zac lifts her up with ease and hugs her.  He never thought he’d see the day that hugging a child like this would make him happy.  He never pictured himself having a kid. But Madeline is different. He knows she isn’t his.  But it doesn’t bother him to be around her.

 

“You had Daddy over for dinner but not me,” Madeline says when she pulls back from the hug to look at him.

 

“I know.  But I didn’t know you weren’t going to be there.  I didn’t realize you were with your Mommy that day.  But I’m here today.”

 

“Good.  But I think you should have me over for dinner without Daddy.”

 

“Oh yeah?  Well, I think that’s something you’ll have to discuss with your Daddy.”  He sets Madeline down, smiling when she takes his hand and pulls him back into the kitchen.

 

“Daddy, I want to go to Zac’s to have dinner.  Just us. You can’t come.”

 

Taylor looks over and chuckles.  “Oh really?” he asks. “Well, that’s something that will have to be discussed at a later time.”

 

“Fine.”  

 

Taylor looks at Zac.  “Can I get you something to drink?  I have pop, juice, milk. I don’t think I have any beer.”

 

“Pop is fine.”  

 

“Dr. Pepper?”

 

“Perfect.”  Zac leans against the counter as he watches Taylor.  “Anything I can help with?”

 

“No.  Dinner’s in the oven.  Should be ready here shortly.  I got it in late.”

 

“No problem.”  He takes the glass Taylor hands him.  “Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome.” 

 

Dinner goes smoothly.  Zac had been nervous and isn’t really sure why.  Probably because he is attracted to Taylor and he wasn’t sure how to act.  But everything came with ease. The conversations never ended. After helping Taylor clean up the kitchen, they walk into the living room where Madeline was watching TV.

 

“Daddy,” Madeline says.

 

“What?”

 

“Can I go play in my room?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Zac watches her run out of the room.  “Don’t take this the wrong way,” Zac says.  “But was she planned?” He looks at Taylor as they both sit down on the couch.

 

“Yes and no,” Taylor answers.  “We wanted kids. But it wasn’t like we were trying when she got pregnant.  And honestly…” He sighs. “We didn’t have sex very often.”

 

Zac grins.  “I can’t say I’m too surprised by that.”

 

“No, I guess not.  She keeps asking me if I’ve kissed anyone yet.”

 

“She seems to be helping you through this as well.”

 

“Yeah, she is.  She thinks I need to tell my family.”  Taylor shrugs. “And I know I should. I just can’t.  Not yet. I mean… I can’t. I’m not ready.”

 

“You may never actually be ready, Tay.  But sooner or later you’re gonna have to.  Unless you want to live a lie the rest of your life.  Something tells me you don’t want that otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here.”

 

“You’re right.”  Taylor looks at Zac.  “But um…” Before he can say anything else, his phone is ringing.  “Sorry.” He grabs it from the coffee table. “I have to get this.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Isaac, hey.”  He throws a look at Zac to see him look down at his hands.

 

Zac lets out a soft breath when he hears Isaac’s name.  Of course it’s him, why wouldn’t it be? He stands up and walks over to the wall he’d seen pictures.  All of them have Madeline in them. There’s a woman that shows up in a few. Zac wonders if that’s Amber.

 

“Sorry about that,” Taylor says.

 

Zac turns and looks at him.  “It’s fine,” he responds as she shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.  “Should I go?”

 

“What?  No. Why would you have to go?”

 

“If he was coming over…”

 

“No, he’s not coming over.  Just needed to ask me about something.”

 

“Hmmm.”  Zac watches Taylor carefully.  “You’re thinking about it.” He could see it in the way Taylor is looking at him that he’s thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.

 

“Thinking about what?”

 

“You know what.  So why don’t you come over here and do it.”

 

Taylor licks his lips nervously.  He may as well admit to it. It’s obvious he’d been caught.  “You told me…”

 

“You gonna let that stop you?”   _ What are you doing, Zac? _

 

Taylor stands up slowly.  “Zac…” He’s interrupted by someone knocking on the door.  “Fuck.” He walks over and pulls the door open to find Jessica standing there.

 

Zac watches as the blonde woman walks in.  “I should go,” he says. He gestures down the hall.  “I’ll go say goodbye to Madeline.” He walks down the hall before Taylor can say anything.  He knocks on Madeline’s open door. “Hey, just wanted to come say goodbye.”

 

“You’re leaving?” Madeline asks.

 

“I am.  I have to get the car back to my sister.”

 

“Okay.”  She stands up and hugs Zac’s legs.  “But I’ll see you again, right?”

 

“I’m sure you will.” 

 

“Good.  Bye, Zac.”

 

“Bye, Madeline.”  He walks back down the hall.

 

“You don’t have to go,” Taylor says.

 

Zac can see how nervous he is right now.  “No, I should. I need to get the car back to Avery.  Thanks for dinner.”

 

“Taylor,” the woman says.

 

“Sorry, this is Zac Garrett.  Zac, this is my sister Jessica Armstrong.”

 

Zac nods at her.  “Nice to meet you, Jessica.”

 

“You too.”

 

“I’ll see you later, Taylor.”  As Zac is stepping outside, he can hear Jessica’s comment.

 

“I thought Isaac told you he was a fag.”

 

“Jessie…”

 

Zac closes the door and hurries to the car so he doesn’t have to hear anymore.  He grabs his pack of cigarettes from his cup holder. After pulling out of the driveway and driving around the corner, he pulls to the side of the road.  “Fuck!” he screams. He grabs his phone and calls the store.

 

“Headspin Records, this is Avery,” Avery answers.

 

“I need you to stay with me,” Zac says.


	6. Feel

Zac lies on the couch with his head resting on Avery’s lap.  He hates that he let himself get caught up in his attraction to Taylor.  He knows it’s a bad idea. But it’s too late now. Maybe if it were only Taylor, but Zac can’t leave Madeline.  What is he talking about? He’s only known them for a month. He squeezes his eyes closed.

 

“You fell for him already,” Avery says.

 

It’s not a question, but Zac feels it necessary to answer.  “Yeah,” he mumbles. “Which is stupid.”

 

“Why is it stupid?”  Avery combs her fingers through Zac’s hair.

 

“Who falls for someone they barely know?  This idiot. God, I’m so stupid. Why do I do this to myself?  He’s not out. He can barely admit it to himself. And his family…”  He laughs bitterly.

 

“You are not an idiot.  And so what if you barely know him?  There’s obviously something there that drew you to him.”

 

“Doesn’t matter.  It can never happen.”

 

“Why?  Because he’s not out yet?”

 

“No, because his family would never accept him.  Who the hell am I to ruin that?”

 

“Who the hell are they to think they have the right to judge you?”

 

Zac rolls onto his back so he can look up at Avery.  “I hate you.”

 

“You love me.”

 

He covers his face.  “What am I supposed to do now?”

 

“Call him.”  She smiles when he drops his hands and glares up at her.  “Don’t look at me like that. You know you’re gonna have to call him.”

 

“I don’t have to do anything.”  He groans when there’s a knock on his door.  “I swear if that’s Zoe, I’m killing you.” He pulls himself up from the couch.  “Did you call Zoe?”

 

“I didn’t call Zoe.  I texted her to let her know I wouldn’t be home right after work.”

 

“God, it’s her.  I fucking hate when you two double team me.”  He pulls the door open and it’s stunned to see who’s standing there.  It’s definitely not Zoe. He’s about to say something when Taylor steps forward and kisses him.  Zac lets out a soft noise in surprise.

 

“I’m sorry,” Taylor says after he pulls away.

 

“I think I’ll head out now,” Avery says as she walks over.

 

Taylor’s eyes widen.  “Oh God.”

 

She shakes her head.  “Don’t panic. It’s fine.”  She looks at Zac. “I’ll be sure to tell Zoe we have to double team you more.”

 

“Fuck you, Avery,” Zac mutters.  He looks at Taylor after Avery shuts the door behind her.

 

“I didn’t know you had anyone here,” Taylor says softly.

 

“Don’t worry about it.”  He wipes his eyes, sure that they’re red from crying.  “What are you doing here?”

 

“You know why I’m here, Zac.  I know you heard what Jessie said.”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

“Yes, it matters.”

 

“Why?  Why does it matter, Taylor?  It’s not the first time I’ve been called a fag.  Trust me, I’m used to it. I don’t like it, but I’m used to it.  You, however. How’s it feeling hearing them say that when it’s what you are?”

 

“It hurts, okay?  Is that what you wanted to hear?”

 

“What I want…”

 

“It matters to me!”  Taylor sighs. “Damn it, Zac.”

 

“Fine…”  Zac drags a hand through his hair.  “What I want to hear is that you told your sister that you’re gay.”

 

“You know I didn’t do that.  I can’t yet, Zac.”

 

“I know.”  He steps forward, taking Taylor’s face between his hands.  “Damn it…” He leans in and kisses Taylor. He drops his hands to Taylor’s hips, turning them around and pushing the slightly taller man against the wall.  “What about Madeline?”

 

“Amber came over.”  Taylor takes a shaky breath.  “You told me I shouldn’t ask you to kiss me just to know what it would feel like.”

 

“I did.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I knew the moment it happened, I’d be a goner.”

 

“Meaning what?”

 

Zac rests his forehead against Taylor’s.  “Meaning I don’t fish through the garbage to find a phone number for just anyone.  I don’t let just anyone into my world.”

 

“So you care about me?”

 

“Yes.”  He leans in and kisses Taylor again.  What he wouldn’t give to feel Taylor around him right now.  However, he knows he can’t push Taylor. He sucks Taylor’s bottom lip into his mouth, biting down gently before he pulls back.

 

“Don’t stop,” Taylor whines.

 

“Tell me what you want.”  He meets Taylor’s gaze.

 

“I don’t know.  I just want to feel again.”

 

Zac moves a hand to Taylor’s cheek, running his thumb over his bottom lip.  “When was the last time you did anything? And not by yourself.”

 

“Three years.”

 

“Damn.”  Zac kisses Taylor again.  “Come with me.” He takes a step back and grabs hold of Taylor’s hand before walking down the short hall to his bedroom.  He pulls Taylor’s shirt loose from his pants and starts to unbutton it. The moment he has the shirt open, he pushes it over Taylor’s shoulders.  “Fuck.” He trails his fingertips over Taylor’s chest.

 

“I know I’m not much to look at.”

 

“Fuck that.”  Zac leans down and licks at Taylor’s nipple.  He smiles when he feels Taylor’s breath hitch.  He slides his hands down and quickly undoes Taylor’s jeans.  “Get on the bed.” He takes a step back and watches Taylor move onto the bed.  Reaching back, Zac pulls his own shirt off before joining Taylor on the bed.

 

Zac settles between Taylor’s legs and trails kisses down Taylor’s chest.  Taylor bites down on his bottom lip as he watches Zac’s every move. When Zac slides further down his body, Taylor takes a shaky breath.  It’s been far too long since he’s felt like this. Of course, it was never this good. This feels right. Zac looks up as best as he can from his position as he licks down Taylor’s treasure trail.

 

“Lift up,” Zac says softly as he tugs at Taylor’s jeans.  He smiles when Taylor lifts his hips.

 

Taylor watches as Zac wraps his hand around his cock, stroking it slowly.  “Fuck,” he mutters as he falls back onto the bed.

 

Zac smiles a little as he shifts a little more to be able to get a better angle.  He wraps his lips around the head of Taylor’s cock, swirling his tongue around the tip.  Taylor looks down at him again when he starts bobbing his head slowly. Reaching down, Taylor slides his hand into his hair.

 

“Oh God,” he moans.

 

Zac hums around him as he slides a hand up his stomach and chest.  He curls his fingers and lightly drags his fingernails back down. Taylor shudders at the feeling. 

 

“Holy shit.”  He grips Zac’s hair tighter.  “Oh my God, that’s so good.” He looks down at Zac and continues to watch him.  It’s obvious that Zac’s done this before. Taylor’s not sure he’s ever felt anything like this before.  If a blow job is this good, what is the rest going to be like?

 

Zac pulls up and strokes Taylor’s cock as he looks up at him.  “Fuck, you taste good,” he groans. He goes back to sucking his cock into his mouth.

 

“Zac…”  Taylor knows that it had come out as a whine, but at this point, he doesn’t even care.  What he cares about is the feeling of Zac’s mouth around him. It’s amazing. “Yes.” He gasps, unable to send a warning as he’s coming.

 

Zac moans as he swallows everything.  He pulls off, licks at Taylor’s tip one last time before sliding up.  He kisses Taylor, deeper than any other time. Taylor moans as he slides his arms around the younger man.

 

“That was amazing,” Taylor mutters when they finally pull apart.

 

Zac smiles at him.  “Well, I guess this is a good sign,” he says.  “You aren’t trying to kill me for doing that.”

 

Taylor smirks.  “That’s the best fucking blow job I’ve ever had.  I can’t believe I’ve waited this long.”

 

Zac rolls to the side and reaches down to adjust himself through his pants.  He wants to ask Taylor to suck him, but he won’t do that yet. He knows he’s going to have to ease into everything.  He looks over when he feels Taylor moving. 

 

“Can I?” Taylor asks as he rests his hand on Zac’s stomach.

 

Zac looks at him and nods.  He keeps his eyes on Taylor as he lowers his hand.  Taylor shifts and undoes Zac’s jeans. Zac can see the hesitation in Taylor as he pulls his cock free.

 

“You don’t have to,” Zac says.  He hisses out when Taylor starts stroking his cock.  “Fuck.”

 

Taylor licks his lips nervously.  Zac is not only longer than him, but he’s also thicker.  As nervous as he is, however, he wants to taste him. Taylor shifts and leans over taking Zac into his mouth.

 

Zac moves one arm behind his head so he’s able to watch Taylor a little easier.  He can see Taylor struggling a little. Reaching down, he runs his fingers through Taylor’s hair.  “Relax,” he says. “Don’t take everything if you can’t.”

 

Taylor pulls off and looks at him.  “How are you able to take more?”

 

“Well, I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you have.”  Zac grins. “You have to relax. Not just your mouth and throat.  Relax your mind. The more you think about it the harder it’ll be.  Don’t worry if you can’t take all of me. It’s your first time.”

 

Taylor nods as he lowers down again.  This time he’s able to take a little more of Zac.  He wonders if he’ll ever be able to take all of him.  It’s something he’ll have to work at. He starts bobbing his head slowly, finding a good pace.

 

Zac lets his eyes close and moans softly.  “That’s good,” he mutters. Taylor may not know what he’s doing, but it’s obvious he wants this.  And it does feel good. When Taylor hums around him, Zac’s hips buck up. “Shit. I’m sorry.” He looks down at Taylor to see him looking up at him as best as he can.  “Holy shit.” If that isn’t a sight. “Fuck, Tay.” He lets go, moaning loudly. He isn’t surprised when Taylor pulls off after a moment. 

 

“Was that okay?” Taylor asks.

 

Zac pulls him up and kisses him.  “Yes,” he answers. “Fuck… the way you looked up at me with your mouth on me.  Damn that was fucking sexy.”

 

Taylor blushes as lays on his side and watches Zac.  “Thank you, Zac. For tonight.”

 

Zac looks at him and nods.  “It’s not going to be easy, Taylor.  But if you’re willing to try, so am I.”


	7. Step Forward

Taylor walks outside after he finishes his meeting with a potential new client.  He smiles as he starts walking back toward the train station. This could be the change he’s been looking for.  He pulls his phone out of his bag, smiling, even more, when he sees that he has a new text from Zac.

 

_ I’m late! Good luck w/ the meeting. _

 

Taylor laughs softly.  Sure, he was late with his message, but at least he remembered.  Something he can’t say for his own family. He changes his direction and heads toward Headspin instead of the train station.  He won’t stay long, but he wants to see Zac. That’s not wrong, right?

 

When he walks into Headspin, he finds Zac standing at one of the shelves talking with a customer.  Taylor smiles a little when Zac looks over.

 

“I’ll be right with you,” Zac says.

 

“Take your time.”  Taylor chews on his bottom lip as he starts looking through some records.

 

Zac walks over after the customer leaves.  “How’d it go?” he asks.

 

Taylor looks at him and smiles.  “It was amazing. They’ll have an answer for me in a few days, but I think it went great.  I hope I get this. This would be amazing.”

 

Zac smiles.  “I told you it’d go great.”  He pushes Taylor gently. “We should celebrate.”

 

“Isn’t it too soon to celebrate?  I haven’t gotten the job yet.”

 

“I have a good feeling about this.  Is Madeline with you this week?”

 

“No, she’s with her Mom.”

 

“Great.  Not that I don’t want to see her too.  You know I adore her.”

 

“Don’t worry about it.”  Taylor smiles. “I know what you meant.”  He pulls a record out and looks at it. “Wanna come over tonight?”

 

“You trying to get me breathless before I even see you?”

 

He grins.  “Take the train.  I’ll pick you up from there.”

 

“Okay.  I’ll text you when I know the schedule.”

 

“Okay.  I should head home and get finished with my other assignment.”

 

“Probably a good idea.”  Zac points to the album. “You want it?”

 

“No.  I’m going to spend all my money in here if I’m not careful.  Besides, I haven’t gotten a record player yet.”

 

“I’ll show you some options tonight.  I’ll bring over what I have.”

 

“Sounds good.”  He takes a quick look around before leaning over and kissing Zac.  “I’ll see you tonight.”

 

Zac smiles.  He knows it was done with no one around, but it was still a step in the right direction considering where they are.  “Later.”

 

* * *

  
  
Zac steps off the train and makes his way to the parking lot.  As he looks around, he spots Taylor’s car. He smiles to himself as he walks over and climbs into the passenger seat.  “Well, hey good looking,” he says.

 

Taylor smiles at him.  “Hey, yourself.” He pulls out of the parking lot.  “How was the ride?”

 

“I saw a fight, so that was entertaining.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Something about someone staring at someone’s bitch.”

 

Taylor snorts.  “Great. You didn’t try to stop it?”

 

“It ended just as fast as it started.  The girl in question put her foot down.  It was amusing.” He watches Taylor. “You’re nervous.”

 

“No I’m not.”

 

“Tay, why are you nervous?” 

 

“Because I don’t know what to expect from tonight.”

 

“Seriously?  Come on, Tay.  You can’t possibly think that I would do anything you didn’t want to do.”

 

“No, I know you won’t.  It’s my own stupid brain.”  He shrugs. “I’m sorry.” 

 

“Don’t be sorry.”  Zac reaches over and squeezes his arm. 

 

Taylor closes the door behind them after walking into the house.  He watches as Zac turn around. “I made spaghetti for dinner. I hope that’s good for you.”

 

Zac nods as he steps in front of Taylor.  “Works for me. But…” He leans in and kisses Taylor.  “I think I need to kiss you for a while first.” He kisses Taylor again, this time with a little more force behind it.

 

Taylor sighs happily into the kiss as he rests his hands on Zac’s hips.  For the first time in a long time, Taylor actually feels happy. It took Zac to get him to this point.  He hopes it’ll continue.

 

“Oh my God,” Zac mutters.  “You think too much.” He smiles at Taylor.  “What are you thinking about this time?”

 

“How happy I am.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Taylor nods.  “It’s been a long time since I’ve been happy like this.  And I have you to thank for it.”

 

“Well, I can’t say I haven’t benefited from your happiness.”  He smiles as he cups Taylor’s face between his hands. 

 

“Yeah, if nothing else, I’m keeping your store in business.”

 

Zac laughs before leaning in and kissing him again.  “You’re insane.”

 

Taylor kisses him one last time before stepping back.  “Come on, we should eat.” He leads Zac into the kitchen.  “Do you drink wine? I have some wine.”

 

“Wine is good.”  Zac leans against the counter as he watches Taylor.  “Anything I can help with?”

 

“You wanna pour the wine?”

 

“Sure.”  Zac turns around and lifts the bottle of wine.  “Looks good.” He pours them both a glass before setting the bottle down again.  “Should we toast?”

 

“Okay.”  Taylor takes the glass Zac hands him.  “What should we toast to?”

 

“To you and new job opportunities.”  He lifts his glass.

 

“Hmm…  You toast to that.  I’ll toast to you and helping me find myself.”  They lift their glasses at each other before taking a sip.  “I know I still have a long way to go, but I’d like to think I’ve gotten a good start.”

 

“You have.”  Zac watches as Taylor starts dishing out the spaghetti.  “Kissing me at the store was a good start.”

 

“No one was in there but us.”

 

“Maybe so, but anyone could have walked in.”  He smiles when he sees the blush creep upon Taylor’s cheeks.

 

“Suppose so.”  He looks over. “Wanna grab the glasses?”

 

Zac takes their wine glasses and follows Taylor over to the table.  “It smells amazing.” He sits down after setting their glasses down.

 

“One of my favorites to make.”  Taylor shrugs. “I don’t get to have it like this often because Madeline doesn’t like chunky sauce.  I hope that will change when she gets older.”

 

Zac smiles before taking a bite of his spaghetti.  “Well, I can’t speak for Madeline, but I think this is really good.  In fact, this may be the best I’ve had.”

 

Taylor smirks.  “Guess what they say is true then, huh?  A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?”

 

“Would appear so.”  He meets Taylor’s blue eyes.  “You’re a good cook. If your photography ever fails you, you can run a restaurant.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.  What did your parents say when you told them?”

 

“You mean when I told them I’m gay?”

 

Taylor nods.  “Yeah.”

 

Zac sighs.  “Mom smacked me across the back of the head and told me never to scare her like that again.  She apparently knew or at least suspected. Dad…” He shrugs. “He didn’t say much. He did say that didn’t change how he felt about me.  It was about a week later when he finally talked to me about it. He told me it was weird to hear me say it, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m his son.  Nothing changed. We still fought because I was failing some class at school.”

 

“What about your sisters and brother?”

 

“Avery told me I was her new best friend because she always wanted a gay best friend.”

 

Taylor laughs.  “How old was she?”

 

“Ten.  I didn’t tell them until I was fifteen.  I wasn’t hiding it, just never really came up before that.  Plus they were a lot younger, so they probably wouldn’t have really understood.  Mac really didn’t understand at that point because he was six. He knew that I didn’t like girls, but that was about it.  Zoe…” He snorts. “She was oblivious. Sometimes I think she still is until I remember she saw firsthand.”

 

“What do you mean?”

  
“She walked in on me having sex.”

 

“Yikes.  When was that?”

 

“Um… I was 24 so she was 11.”

 

“Wow.  Poor thing.”

 

“I thought I had locked my door, but apparently I didn’t.  Zoe has always had a bad habit of walking into our rooms without knocking.”  He shrugs. “The guy I was with decided to be a drama queen about it and I never saw him again.  I was more worried about my baby sister seeing us than him.”

 

“Did she ignore you at all?”

 

“For the rest of that day yes.  She was shy around me the following day.  I finally made her sit down with me and we talked.”  He watches Taylor. “It was a completely different situation for me, Tay.  My family was always open. I never had to hide.”

 

Taylor nods.  “I’m just scared.”

 

“I know you are.”  He reaches over and takes Taylor’s hand.

 

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to bring this up now.”

 

“It’s okay.  It’s not going to be easy, Tay.  I can’t sit here and tell you that your family will react like mine did.  Because at the end of the day…”

 

“They won’t.  They won’t accept me.”

 

“Maybe they won’t.”

 

“You’ve heard my brother and my sister, Zac.”

 

“I know.”  He squeezes Taylor’s hand.  “How about we talk about something different?  Like what kind of record player you should get.”  He reaches into his pocket and grabs the magazine pages that he has.  “I marked the ones that I would get. I can help with whatever you’re looking for.”

 

“Not looking for anything huge or anything.  Just want something that sounds good. Mady’s made it pretty clear that she wants more records.”

 

Zac chuckles.  “My kinda girl.”  He points to one of the players he’d marked.  “This is actually the one I have at my apartment.  I love it.”

 

“Well, I think that’s the one I’ll get then.  Where do I get it?”

 

“I can order it for you if you want.  I have to get some things from there anyways.”

 

“Okay.  Just let me know how much I owe you.”

 

“I will.”  

 

Zac smiles at Taylor as they finish cleaning the kitchen after dinner.  He leans against the counter. “You’re nervous.”

 

Taylor sighs.  “I guess.” He hates that Zac was able to see that so easily.

 

“Tay, I told you.  Nothing happens unless you want it to.”

 

“I know.”  He steps in front of Zac.  “I know I want this though.”  He leans in and kisses Zac softly.

 

Zac smiles against his mouth.  “That I can help with.” He slides an arm around him as he deepens the kiss.  

 

Taylor rests a hand on the side of Zac’s neck.  “Zac… if…” He pulls back enough to meet Zac’s dark gaze.  “The things you do to me.”

 

Zac smiles.  “Right back at you.”  He kisses Taylor again.  “You’re thinking again. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

 

“I can’t promise anything.”  Taylor licks his lips as he rests his forehead on Zac’s.  “Can we move this into the bedroom?”


	8. Pictures

Taylor turns around once they get into his bedroom.  He watches as Zac leans against the closed door. “Why are you so willing to do this?” he asks.  “I mean…”

 

“Because I like you,” Zac answers.  He smiles at Taylor. “Is that so hard to believe?”

 

“Yes.”  Taylor shrugs.  “I know it’s crazy.  But yes, it is hard to believe.  My life is a mess.”

 

“Welcome to the club, Tay.”  

 

Taylor moves to stand in front of Zac.  “I like you too.” He reaches out and trails a knuckle down Zac’s stomach.  “I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this about anyone before. Not that there has been… I mean…”

 

“Relax.”  Zac rests his hand on Taylor’s arm.  “You have to relax before you send yourself into a frenzy.”

 

Taylor snorts.  “Did you really just say a frenzy?”

 

“Yes.  It got you to laugh.”  Zac squeezes Taylor’s arm. 

 

“I guess it did.”  He grins. “You’re too good to me, Zac.”  Taylor takes a deep breath as he pulls Zac’s belt loose.  “I know we’ve already been together in a way…” He meets Zac’s gaze.  “But I want more.” He licks his lips as he pushes Zac’s shirt up his body.  “I want you. I want all of you.”

 

Zac lifts his arms up so Taylor can get his shirt completely off.  “You say stop and we stop.”

 

Taylor nods.  “Okay.”

 

Zac steps forward and pushes Taylor toward the bed.  “I mean it. Anytime.”

 

“I will.”  Taylor reaches back to pull his shirt off.  He smiles at Zac as the younger man reaches down to pull his belt free.  “Are you nervous?”

 

“Yes.”  Zac leans in and kisses him softly.  “It’s okay to be nervous.” He slides his hands down and grips Taylor’s butt through his jeans.  He smiles when Taylor’s hips push forward. “Fuck. Tay, wait.”

 

“What?  Did I do something wrong?”

 

“No, God no.”  Zac kisses him.  “I don’t have any condoms.”

 

“Oh.”  Taylor licks his lips.  “I don’t care. I’m clean.”

 

“Me too.  Are you sure?”

 

“Yes.”

 

In a matter of moments, Zac has both of them undressed and on the bed.  He grabs the bottle of lotion that Taylor had pointed out. He slides a finger between Taylor’s cheeks after coating his fingers.

 

“I need you to relax and trust me,” Zac says softly.

 

Taylor simply nods.  He gasps at the feel of Zac pushing a finger into him.  “Oh God.”

 

Zac runs his free hand up and down Taylor’s lower back.  “Breathe, Tay.” He licks his lips as he feels Taylor start to relax slightly.  He takes this chance to move his finger further in. “Doing okay?”

 

Taylor turns his head to look at Zac as best as he can.  “Yeah. Sorry, it’s… different.”

 

“I know.  Want me to stop?”

 

“No.”  Taylor grins.  “You better not stop.”

 

“Okay.”  Zac smiles a little as he works a second finger into Taylor.  “God damn, I can’t believe how good this feels and it’s only my fingers.”  He looks at Taylor as he starts moving his fingers in and out to get him loosened up.

 

Taylor drops his head forward.  “Zac, I need you.”

 

“You sure you’re ready?”

 

“Yes.  Just… go slow.”

 

“I will.”  Zac pulls his fingers free and coats his cock.  He licks his lips as he positions himself at Taylor’s entrance.  “Relax.” He feels Taylor tense the moment he starts pushing in. “I know, Babe.”  He rubs Taylor’s back again. “It’ll get better. I just need you to relax for me.”

 

Taylor drops down onto his elbows and squeezes his eyes shut.  “Wait,” he says. He reaches back and grips Zac’s thigh. “Don’t pull out.  Just gimme a sec.”

 

“Okay.”  

 

Zac continues to rub Taylor’s back.  He feels him finally relax slightly. When Taylor gives a nod, Zac pushes in further.  Taylor digs his nails into Zac’s thigh. Zac lets out the breath he’d been holding when he’s fully inside Taylor.  He moves both hands to rest on the other man’s hips.

 

“Okay?” he asks softly.

 

“Yes,” Taylor whimpers out.

 

Zac has to grin at that.  He starts to thrust slowly, not wanting to risk hurting Taylor.  For their first time, Zac would have preferred being able to see Taylor’s face.  However, it being Taylor’s first time, Zac had known this would be easiest. He just hopes that Taylor will continue to want this after tonight.

 

When Taylor pushes himself up, Zac has to smile.  He wraps an arm around Taylor’s chest to hold him against him as he continues to move in and out.  Taylor reaches back and curls his fingers into Zac’s hair. Zac turns his head to kiss Taylor’s neck.

 

“Oh God,” Taylor moans.  “So good.”

 

Zac slides his free hand around and grips Taylor’s cock.  “So tight on me,” he whispers. “I love it.” He strokes Taylor’s cock in time with each thrust.

 

“Zac… not gonna…”  Taylor cries out as he comes over Zac’s hand.

 

Zac smiles.  He bites down on Taylor’s neck gently as he thrusts in one last time before reaching his own release.  “Tay, so good.”

 

Taylor lets out a breathy laugh.  “I can’t believe I waited this long to find out just how good that it is.”

 

* * *

  
  
Taylor wakes up the next morning happier than he’s been in far too long.  Sure, he cherishes his days with Madeline. This is different though. This happiness is something that can only happen because of someone like Zac.  He slips out of bed carefully and walks into the bathroom. 

 

When he returns a minute later, he has to stop and simply admire Zac.  The man is absolutely gorgeous. Taylor chews on his bottom lip. Before he can stop himself, he’s grabbing his camera and walking closer to the bed.  He thinks he’s done taking pictures when a thought crosses his mind. God, Zac is going to kill him for all of this. 

 

Taylor carefully climbs back onto the bed and stands over Zac.  He snaps a picture, smiling when Zac wakes up just then. 

 

“What the hell are you doing?” Zac asks with a laugh.

 

“Taking pictures of you,” Taylor answers as he takes another one.

 

“You’re taking pictures… weirdo.”

 

Taylor lowers his camera and smiles.  “I can’t help it that you inspire me.”

 

Zac laughs at that.  “Well, then by all means…”  He slides his hands up Taylor’s calves.  “But you better get down here and kiss me now.”  He smiles when Taylor carefully drops to his knees above him.  “Almost there.” He sighs happily when Taylor kisses him. “Do I get a picture of you now?”

 

Taylor flips the camera over as he moves his arm out to the side.  “Smile.”

 

Zac turns his head toward the camera and smiles.  When the picture has been taken, he looks up at Taylor again.  Taylor smiles before kissing him once again. As he deepens the kiss, he doesn’t realize that he snapped another picture before letting the camera fall carefully onto the bed.

 

“How are you feeling?” Zac asks as he rubs Taylor’s back.

 

“A bit sore,” Taylor answers honestly.  “I’m guessing that’s normal?”

 

Zac nods.  “You may for the first few times.  I’m sorry. I should have warned you about that.”

 

“It’s okay.  It’s worth it.”  Taylor blushes at his admission.

 

“Glad to hear.  Not to ruin this moment, but I really need to use the bathroom.”

 

Taylor laughs as he climbs off Zac.  “Do you work today?”

 

“Yeah.”  Zac looks at the clock as he climbs out of bed.  “Mind if I use your shower?”

 

“Go for it.”  Taylor smiles as he watches Zac walk into the bathroom.  “Towels are in the closet behind the door.” He grabs his camera and puts it back into his bag.

 

Taylor is just finishing up making his bed when Zac walks out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist.  “Fuck,” he mutters.

 

Zac grins.  “We don’t have time, sorry.”  He winks at Taylor.

 

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”  Taylor wrinkles his nose. “Sorry.”

 

“Don’t be sorry.”  Zac grabs his boxers before dropping his towel and pulling them on.  “If I didn’t have to be at work… but we have inventory coming up, so kinda have to be there to things ready for that.”

 

“Probably a good idea.  Let me grab a shower real quick and I’ll drive you to the train.”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

“Help yourself to whatever you want in the kitchen.”

 

Taylor pulls to a stop when he reaches the train station.  He looks over at Zac and watches as he unbuckles his seat belt.  “Have fun with inventory prep.”

 

Zac snorts.  “Thanks a lot.”  He leans over and gives Taylor a quick kiss.  “I’ll call you later.” He climbs out of the car.

 

Taylor watches as Zac walks up the steps to the platform before he finally pulls away.  He’s in too deep already.


	9. Battles

Taylor frowns when he gets Zac’s voicemail once again.  “Hey, it’s me again. Just… Call me. Or at least text me.  I’m worried, Zac. I haven’t talked to you in days now. Did I do something?  Tell me what I did so I can fix it.” He ends the call and shoves his phone in his pocket again.

 

All of his calls and texts have gone unanswered.  What if something happened? No, he’s sure that Avery would have found a way to let him know.  So why isn’t Zac returning any of the calls or texts? Taylor takes a quick look at his watch before he changes his route to head to Headspin.  It could be that Zac’s simply been busy. However, Taylor’s sure that he’d at least text him to let him know. 

 

When he walks into the store, he frowns a little at the sight of Avery.  He had expected to see Zac at the counter. It normally would be; especially at this time.  He walks over to the counter. “Hey,” he says.

 

“Taylor, hi,” Avery says.

 

“Where’s Zac?”

 

She frowns at him.  “Um…”

 

“Avery, I haven’t seen or heard from him in almost three days.  I come in here to find you working when I know for fact that he does the late shift on Thursdays.  So don’t give me some bull shit about him being fine. Something’s wrong and I can see it in the look you’re giving me.  So please, tell me.”

 

She lets out a heavy breath and nods.  “No, you’re right. He’s okay, mostly. If I would have known you were trying to get a hold of him, I would have contacted you.  Honestly, I’m lucky he even called me this time. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him this bad. I don’t know how much you know about Zac’s battles…”

 

“What battles?”

 

“Go figure he didn’t tell you.  Zac’s battled depression and anxiety since he was a teenager.  While it’s mostly under control, he has some bad days. I don’t know what happened this time to cause his spiral, but he’s in one of his deep places right now.”

 

Taylor frowns.  “I had no idea. He never let on.”

 

“He doesn’t like people knowing.  And unless you’ve seen him during one of his low points, you probably wouldn’t see.”

 

“Is he home?”

 

She nods.  “Yes. He won’t let you in.  But the post at the top of the stairs is loose.  Pull it off and there’s an extra key.”

 

“Has he been eating?”

 

“Not very much.  I’m hoping you’ll be able to get him to eat something.”

 

Taylor nods.  “I’ll try.” He takes the sticky note from Avery.

 

“My number in case you need anything.  Don’t hesitate if you have any questions.  Even if you think they’re stupid, call me. Have you ever dealt with someone battling depression?”

 

“No.”

 

“Okay.  I will tell you right now that it’s not going to be easy.  You’ll see it for yourself when you go over there.”

 

He nods.  “Thank you, Avery.”

 

Taylor closes Zac’s door behind him when he gets inside.  He frowns when he sees that there are no lights on that he can see.  He slips his camera bag over his head and sets it to the side before making his way down the short hall.  He opens the bedroom door and steps inside. He can barely make out the outline of Zac’s body in bed. Not only are the curtains pulled tight, but there’s a blanket hanging over the window too.  He walks over and pulls the blanket down.

 

Zac groans from the bed.  “Fuck off, Avery,” he mutters.

 

Taylor sits down on the edge of the bed.  “Not Avery.” He watches as Zac pulls his head from under the covers.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“You haven’t been answering my calls or texts.  I was worried about you.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“You expect me to believe that?”

 

“How’d you get in?”

 

“Avery told me where the spare key was.  When was the last time you ate?” He watches Zac who rolls away from him.  “You have to eat, Zac.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Want me to make you a sandwich?  Or I could go down and get some Chinese.”

 

“I want to sleep.  I need to sleep.”

 

“Okay.”  Taylor shifts onto his knees, leaning over to kiss Zac’s cheek.  “I’ll come back to check on you in a little bit.” He stands up and walks out of the room, leaving the door open this time.  If Zac wants the door closed, he’ll have to climb out bed and close it himself.

 

Taylor looks in Zac’s fridge, not too surprised to find that there isn’t much on the shelves.  He lets out a heavy breath as he makes his way out of the apartment and down to the Chinese restaurant.  If he has to feed Zac himself, he will. It definitely wouldn’t be the first time he’s fed someone else; even if the other person is a child.  

 

When he returns to the apartment, he’s a little surprised to find that the bedroom door is still open.  He’d thought that Zac would have closed it by now. He leans against the doorjamb when he notices that Zac was now at least on his back with the blankets off his face.

 

“I got Chinese,” Taylor says.

 

“I’m not hungry,” Zac mumbles. 

 

“You need to eat, Zac.”  He watches Zac pulls the blankets back up over his head.  “Well, it’ll be here when you decide you want to eat.” He walks back down to the kitchen, setting the bag down on the kitchen table.  He pulls his phone out to send Avery a text.

 

_ It’s Taylor. No luck so far, but I’m not giving up. Won’t push him with anything other than food. _

 

**_Try getting him to shower too if you can._ **

 

_ Will do. _

 

**_Keep me updated. Ur good for him, Tay._ **

 

Taylor lets out a sigh as he sits down and pulls out the bowl of lo mein from the bag.  He wants to go down and sit with Zac in hopes that would make him want to eat. He can’t bring himself to do so.  At least not yet. 

 

After he eats, he heads back to Zac’s bedroom.  He slips out of his shoes before climbing into bed behind Zac.  He pulls the younger man into his arms, frowning a little when Zac tenses.  “It’s okay,” Taylor says softly. “It’s only me.”

 

* * *

  
  
Zac sits up in bed and looks around.  What time is it? What day is it? He runs a hand through his hair.  He frowns when he realizes that there’s light coming in from the window.  He doesn’t remember opening the curtains. He climbs out of bed and heads to the bathroom.  The moment he sees his reflection in the mirror, he groans. How long has it been since he showered?

 

He’s about to turn the shower on when he hears movement in the kitchen.  He frowns. Avery must be here. Of course she is. Why wouldn’t she be? Mother hen.

 

Zac showers, not entirely sure if he actually washes, but at least he’s rinsed off.  Everything is still foggy. He can’t get himself to focus. He wraps his towel around his waist before walking back to his room to search for clean clothes.  He manages to get dressed and pull his brush through his hair before walking down the hall. When he reaches the kitchen, he stops in his tracks.

 

“Taylor,” he says.

 

Taylor turns from where he’s standing at the sink.  “Hey, I didn’t hear you get up.” He grabs the towel to dry his hands.  “You even showered.”

 

Zac frowns as he nods.  “How’d you get in?”

 

“Avery told me where the key was.”

 

“Why are you here?”  

 

“I was worried about you.  I’ve called and texted you for days.”

 

Zac takes a step back when Taylor steps toward him.  “Don’t.” He can feel his breathing quicken once again.  “No. You weren’t supposed to be here.” He shakes his head.  He didn’t want Taylor to see him like this.

 

“Hey, it’s okay.”  Taylor steps forward again, cupping Zac’s face in his hands.

 

“No…”  Zac pushes Taylor away.  “I didn’t want you here.”  He rests his hand on his chest, struggling to catch his breath.  “Tay…” He reaches out for Taylor. “I can’t…”

 

Taylor steps forward, resting a hand on the side of Zac’s neck.  “You’re okay. I’ve got you.” He slides his free arm around Zac’s waist and pulls him against him.  “I’ve got you.”

 

Zac squeezes his eyes shut.  He doesn’t know what else to do.  Outside of his family, especially Avery, everyone else has always run when he goes through this.  Why isn’t Taylor running? After several minutes of just standing like this, Zac can feel himself relax slightly.  He wraps his arms around Taylor’s middle as he buries his face in the taller man’s neck.

 

Taylor rubs Zac’s back.  He’s not sure if he should say anything right now.  He decides against it and continues to just hold Zac.  He’ll let Zac make the next move. After a few more minutes of standing there in silence, Zac finally moves to take a step back.  Taylor loosens his grip around his waist and watches him.

 

“When I didn’t get a response from you, I got worried,” Taylor says softly.  “I didn’t know what to think.”

 

Zac takes Taylor’s hand and pulls him over to the couch.  He’s not sure if he’ll be able to actually tell Taylor anything, but he wants him to know he appreciates him being here.  He shifts so he’s facing Taylor as they sit down on the couch. “I haven’t been answering anyone’s calls or texts.”

 

“What happened, Zac?  Did I do something?”

 

“No.”  Zac runs a hand through his hair.  “You’ve been amazing. I just… have my demons.”

 

“Meaning what?”

 

He shrugs.  “I don’t know.”  He looks down at their intertwined hands.  “What did Avery tell you?”

 

“She mentioned that you’ve battled depression and anxiety for years.”

 

“I didn’t want you to know, Tay.”

 

Taylor frowns.  “Why not?”

 

“Because that would mean…”  Zac pulls his hand free from Taylor’s.  “I can’t, Tay.”


	10. Too Much

Taylor reaches out and grabs Zac’s arm before he can make a move after he stood up to leave the room.  Taylor knows that’s what Zac’s plan is. He just can’t let it happen. “Zac…”

 

“No,” Zac says pulling his arm free.  He stares down at Taylor. “It’s too much, Taylor.  I don’t want you here, especially right now. I can’t have you here.  I don’t want you here. I hate that you’re here. God, why would you even think about coming?”

 

“I don’t understand, Zac.”

 

“Of course you don’t.  Because you…” Zac shakes his head as he turns away.  Why can’t Taylor just leave him alone? Is it too much of him to ask?  He doesn’t want Taylor to see him like this. He squeezes his eyes shut when the room starts spinning.  “Oh God.” 

 

Taylor’s on his feet the moment he sees Zac sway.  He wraps an arm around his waist. “Come on, you need to sit.”

 

Zac turns and pushes Taylor away.  “What don’t you understand?” He drops to his knees as he tries to catch his breath.

 

“Zac…”  Taylor kneels in front of him.  He rests his hands on Zac’s cheeks.  “It’s okay.” He rubs his thumbs over Zac’s cheeks.  “It’s okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you.” He moves his arms around Zac when the other man falls against him.  He combs his fingers through Zac’s hair.

 

“Please, just go.”

 

“I can’t leave you, Zac.”

 

“Yes, you can.”  Zac pushes him away.  “Go. I need you to go.  I can’t have you here. God, just get the fuck out.”  He pulls himself up and walks over to the door. “Go.”  He pulls the door open and stares anywhere but at Taylor.  “Get out. I don’t fucking want you here. I don’t need a fucking babysitter.  I’m a grown ass man. Get the fuck out.”

 

Taylor stops when he steps in front of Zac.  “Zac…”

 

“Get out.”  Zac grabs Taylor’s arm and pushes him out of the apartment.  He slams the door closed before falling down against it. What did he just do?

 

Taylor stares at the closed door.  He rests his hand on it for a moment before turning and walking down the stairs.  He pulls his phone out of his pocket to text Avery.

 

_ He kicked me out. He’s not happy that I was there. _

 

**_Not good. I’m closing up early and will head over. You staying?_ **

 

_ Probably not. Seems like he really doesn’t want me here. _

 

**_He doesn’t know what he wants when he’s like this. Don’t leave until I get there. Gimme like 20 minutes._ **

 

_ K. _

 

Taylor isn’t sure staying is a good idea.  Zac made it pretty clear he doesn’t want him here.  However, he can’t bring himself to actually leave. Instead, he makes his way back upstairs and sits down outside of Zac’s apartment to wait for Avery.

 

When he sees Avery walking up, he stands again.  “Hey,” he says.

 

“Hi,” she responds.  “Have you tried going back in?”

 

“No.  Pretty sure he wants nothing to do with me.”

 

“Zac wants nothing to do with anyone when he’s like this.”

 

“I guess I just have to figure out how to handle him when he’s like this.”

 

“It’ll come with time.”

 

Taylor nods.  “I’m sure it does.  But for now…” He shrugs.  “I think I better just head out.  I don’t want to upset him any more than he already is.”

 

“Okay.  If you don’t hear from him soon, let me know.”

 

“I will.”

 

* * *

  
  


Zac takes a deep breath as he walks up to Taylor’s front door.  He’s not even sure the man is home, but he’ll wait if he must. He rings the doorbell and takes a step back to wait for someone to answer.  “Please be home,” he mutters when he doesn’t hear any movements from inside. He’s about to try ringing the doorbell again when the door finally opens.

 

“Zac,” Taylor says surprised.

 

“Hey,” Zac says softly.  He lifts Taylor’s camera bag.  “You left this at my place.”

 

Taylor takes the bag.  “Thanks.”

 

“I hope you didn’t have anything important to get done.”

 

“No, everything I needed to do I had here.”  Taylor pulls the door open the rest of the way.  “Wanna come in?”

 

“Yeah.”  Zac steps inside, rubbing his hands on his jeans as he waits for Taylor.  He follows Taylor into the living room to his right and sits down on the couch.

 

“Gimme a minute.  I have to go back downstairs and shut things down.”

 

“What’s downstairs?”  He shakes his head. “Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

 

“My darkroom is downstairs.  That’s why it took me a few to answer the door.  I had to make sure the picture was done before I could open the door.”

 

Zac nods.  “Can I see the room?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Zac stands up again and follows Taylor down to the basement.  He looks at Taylor when they stop outside of a room. 

 

“Ready?  I need to shut the light off out here before opening the door.”

 

Zac nods.  “I’m ready.”  He watches Taylor reach over to flip the light off before he opens the door in front of them.  He walks in, making sure to close the door behind him. “Wow.” He walks around, looking at the pictures that are hanging.  “I didn’t realize you used a film camera.”

 

“I have both.  A lot of the stuff for work is digital.  But I guess you can say I’m a little obsessed with old film cameras.”

 

“Nothing wrong with that.”  He stops when he reaches a picture of himself.  “Tay…” He looks over at Taylor. “You…” He moves to the next picture, this time it’s the picture Taylor had taken of both of them.  His smile is real. When was the last time he had a smile like that in a picture? He turns to look at Taylor again. “I’m sorry about the other day when you came over.  I honestly don’t even remember what I said to you. I was… lost.”

 

Taylor nods as he steps forward.  “How are you now?”

 

“I’m okay.  I have a headache, but that’s not unusual after an episode like that.”

 

Taylor shoves his hands into his pockets, willing himself not to reach out to touch Zac right now.  Zac needs to make the first move. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“Because you don’t need to deal with my mental bull shit.”

 

“Your what?  Zac, you’ve dealt with me from day one.”

 

“It’s not the same thing.”

 

“Listen to me.  If we’re going to do this thing, then we need to be open with each other.  When I didn’t hear from you in three days, I got scared. I didn’t know what to do.  I was so scared that something happened to you.”

 

Zac frowns.  “I’m sorry for that, Tay.  I didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

“I know you didn’t.  But it doesn’t change the fact that you did.  I could have been there with you, Zac. We’re in this together.”

 

“That’s the problem, Taylor.”  Zac drags a hand through his hair and sighs.  “I think…” He chews on his bottom lip. “I think we need to cool things off for a while.”

 

“What?  Zac… did I do something?”

 

“No, not at all.  You have been nothing but amazing.  This is all on me. I just can’t do this right now, Tay.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

Zac steps forward and rests his hands on Taylor’s cheeks.  “I’ll call you, okay?” He leans in and kisses Taylor. “Goodbye, Tay.”

 

“Zac, don’t do this.”

 

He lets his hands linger a moment longer before he walks out of the room.  He’s walking up the stairs when he hears a loud crash from in the dark room.  He’s tempted to go back, but he knows he can’t. He has to leave.

 

Once he drives a few blocks away, he pulls to the side of the road.  He covers his face as the tears start. Why did he do that? Why couldn’t he just open up to Taylor?  He grabs his phone, ready to call Taylor. After staring at the name for a minute, he finally moves on and calls Avery.

 

“Hey,” Avery answers.  “I was thinking about getting sushi.”

 

“Avie…”

 

“Zac?  What’s wrong?”

 

“I just did something really stupid.”

 

“Oh, Zac.”  She lets out a soft breath.  “Can you drive back here?”

 

“Yeah.  Close up early.  I’ll meet you at my place.”

 

“Okay.”

 

* * *

  
  
Zac looks up when the door opens, thankful to see Avery walk in.  “Hi,” he says softly.

 

“Hey,” Avery says.  She walks over, setting the food bag she has down on the coffee table before sitting down beside Zac.  “What happened?”

 

“I just broke up with Taylor.”

 

“You what?”

 

“I told him I think we should cool it for a while.  What is wrong with me?”

 

“You’re scared.”

 

“I’m not…”

 

“You’re falling in love with him, Zac.”


	11. Again

When Zac told him that they needed to cool off, Taylor never imagined he’d go a month without hearing from him.  He never thought he’d have to let his daughter down by telling her they couldn’t go to Headspin. Madeline hadn’t taken that very well and managed not to speak to Taylor for the rest of the day.  

 

After a month had passed, he couldn’t hold her off anymore.  She asked almost every day. How could he keep her from the place?  He couldn’t. So he just has to hope that Zac isn’t there. He doesn’t want the other man to think he’s doing anything other than shopping with his daughter. 

 

When Taylor follows Madeline into Headspin, he’s surprised to find someone he doesn’t recognize at the counter.  He closes the door behind him as Madeline runs over to the counter.

 

“Where’s Zac?  Where’s Avery? Who are you?”  Madeline stares at the man waiting for her answers.

 

“Madeline Rose,” Taylor says as he walks over.  “Sorry about her.”

 

“No problem,” the man says with a smile.  “To answer your questions, young lady, Zac is probably going insane right about now.  Avery is probably at home right now. And I am Mac. Who are you?”

 

“Madeline Rose Hanson,” Madeline answers.  “Who are you though?”

 

“Mac Garrett.  I’m Zac’s brother.”

 

“I’m Zac’s friend.  But I haven’t seen him in a long time.”

 

“Madeline, I think you should go look around.  Let’s leave Mac to his work.” Taylor taps the top of her head, thankful when she wanders over to the albums.  “Sorry about her. She doesn’t have an off switch.”

 

Mac smiles.  “No problem. So if she Madeline Hanson, you must be Taylor.”

 

Taylor frowns a little as he nods.  “Yeah, I’m Taylor.”

 

“Daddy, I found one.”

 

“Excuse me.”  Taylor walks over to where Madeline is standing.  He’s thankful that she’d called him over.

 

Taylor is finishing looking through one of the sections when he hears the door open.  He glances over to see Zac step in. He turns away quickly, hoping that Zac won’t see him.  Before he can even look to see where Madeline is, he hears her.

 

“Zac!” Madeline exclaims.  

 

“Madeline, hey.”

 

Taylor turns around just in time to see Zac lift Madeline up.  Great, now Zac’s going to think he had this planned.

 

“Where have you been?” Madeline asks.  “I haven’t seen you in  _ forever _ .  Did you fall off the face of the earth?”

 

Zac chuckles.  “Well, obviously I didn’t fall off the face of the earth.  I’m standing here, aren’t I? I know it’s been a while. But you know what?  I found the perfect record for you.” He sets Madeline down. “Wanna see it?”

 

“Yes!”

 

Zac glances at Taylor as he walks over to the counter.  “Mac, where’s that Three Dog Night record I set aside?”

 

“Oh, it’s up on the shelf here,” Mac answers.

 

“Thanks.”  Zac grabs the record and walks back around to Madeline.  He squats down so he’s at her level. “This is one of my favorite albums.  It’s my favorite Three Dog Night album.” He smiles when Madeline takes the album and stares at it with wide eyes.

 

“Wow,” she says.

 

“I made to sure to grab it when it came in so no one else could take it.”

 

When Taylor hears Zac say this, he heart jumps.  Zac had gotten it for Madeline? When did he do this?  Why did he do this? Especially if it was after Zac ended their relationship.  He watches as Zac stands up once again. He wants to say something, but he doesn’t know what.  What could he possibly say to the man?

 

“Zac, I miss you,” Madeline says.

 

Taylor’s heart sinks at that.  He misses Zac too. If only Zac felt the same.  Sure, he probably misses Madeline, but…

 

“I miss you too, Madeline.”

 

Taylor clears his throat as he looks away.  They need to get out of here before he does something to make Zac uncomfortable.  “Mady, we should get going,” he says.

 

“Daddy, I wanna stay with Zac.”

 

“Zac has to work and we have to go.  Mommy’s picking you up tonight, remember?”  He taps the top of her head when he steps over.  “Come on, let’s go pay for our things. What do you say to Zac?”

 

“Thank you, Zac.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Zac says.  “Mac, no charge on the Three Dog Night one.”  He walks away before Taylor can argue. 

 

* * *

  
  
Zac walks off the train and looks around.  He’s not sure what he’s even thinking. But after he’d seen Taylor at the store something triggered him.  He needs to see the man again. He should have asked Avery to use the car. Too late to worry about that now.  It doesn’t take too long to arrive at Taylor’s. He stands at the end of the driveway as he finishes his cigarette.  “Just go up there,” Zac mutters. He puts his cigarette out before he makes his way up to the front door. 

 

After ringing the doorbell, Zac shoves his hands into his jean pockets.  He waits for a minute before ringing the doorbell again. Maybe Taylor’s in his darkroom.  Maybe he isn’t even here. Or maybe he saw that it was Zac who rang the doorbell and wanted nothing to do with him.  No, he doesn’t believe that one to be true. When there’s no answer, Zac turns to make his way back to the train station.  This was apparently a bad idea. But as he’s stepping off the step, he sees Taylor pulling into the driveway.

 

He stays where he is, suddenly unsure on how to act.  He watches as Taylor approaches him with a questioning look.  “Hi,” Zac finally manages to say. 

 

“Hi,” Taylor says.

 

“I um…”  He shrugs.  

 

“Wanna come in?”

 

He lets out a soft sigh of relief as he nods.  “Please.” 

  
Taylor nods as he moves past Zac.  He closes the door behind them after they walk in.  “Look, I’m sorry about today. I’ve been putting her off for over a month.  I couldn’t anymore.”

 

“No, don’t apologize.”  Zac frowns. “You… you have nothing to apologize for.”

 

“I just don’t want you to think we went there for any reason other than the records.”  Taylor lifts his bag over his head and sets it down.

 

“Were you working?”

 

“No, just out doing some fun photos.  Zac…”

 

“I miss you, Taylor.  And I was stupid to ever think I didn’t need you in my life.  Because the truth is this last month has been horrible. My emotions haven’t been like this since I was a kid and this shit was just starting.  I can’t stop thinking about you. I don’t want to stop thinking about you. Because…” Zac takes a shaky breath. “…the truth is I love you.”

 

Taylor watches Zac for a moment, trying to take in everything he just.  “I miss you too.”

 

“And I know I shouldn’t even be here after what I did.  I just had to see you.”

 

“I’m glad you came.”  Taylor shoves his hands into the front pockets of his pants as he moves to stand in front of Zac.  “I didn’t realize how much I missed you until I saw you today.” He takes another step closer.

 

“I’ve never missed anyone the way I missed you and Madeline.  It’s not fair of me to ask you to forgive me. But I’m willing to work to earn your forgiveness.”

 

Taylor takes the final step forward, resting his forehead on Zac’s.  “I love you too.” He closes his eyes when he feels Zac’s hands on his hips.  “Zac…”

 

Zac leans in and kisses him.  “Can we do this thing again?”

 

Taylor slides his arms around Zac’s neck and pulls him in for another kiss.  “Yes.” 

 

Zac wakes up the next morning at the sound of a phone ringing.  He rolls onto his back, trying to figure out where the sound is coming from.  It’s not his phone. Taylor… he’s at Taylor’s. He smiles at the thought as he reaches over to nudge the other man.  “Tay, your phone.”

 

“Fuck,” Taylor mutters.

 

Zac watches as he practically falls out of bed as he retrieves his phone from his pants that had been tossed to the floor.  He can’t help but laugh softly.

 

“Fuck you,” Taylor growls.  “Hello?” He looks over at Zac and smiles.  “I was sleeping, yes. Mom, seriously?” Taylor rolls his eyes as he turns away from Zac.

 

Zac rolls onto his side so he can continue to watch Taylor.  He reaches over and rests his hand on Taylor’s bare back. He can feel Taylor tense up.  He just hopes that it’s not because of him. As he continues to listen to Taylor’s side of the conversation, he realizes that it’s definitely not him and it’s his conversation with his Mom.  He watches as Taylor ends the call and puts his phone on the nightstand. “You okay?” Zac asks.

 

“I’m apparently wasting my life because I slept until nine,” Taylor answers.

 

Zac can’t help but laugh.  “Well, I guess that’s what happens when you stay up all night having sex.”

 

“Guess so.”  Taylor slides under the covers again and slips closer to Zac.  “I was afraid I was gonna wake up to you gone. Or wake up to realize it was all a dream.”

 

“I’m here.”  Zac reaches up and rests his hand on Taylor’s cheek.  “I’m here.” 

 

“Listen, I know it’s still a few weeks away, but we do a party every July 4 th .  I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’d really like it if you were there.”

 

“As what?”

 

“Zac…”

 

“No, I need to know.  Am I being invited as your boyfriend or your friend?”  

 

“I haven’t told them yet.  I know I should.”

 

Zac watches him carefully.  “You’re scared. I get it, Tay.”  He leans in and kisses him softly.  “I’ll be there if you want me to be there.  In any way you want me there.”

 

Taylor smiles against Zac’s mouth.  “Yeah? I will tell them.”


	12. Brick

Zac smiles as he hands the customer their bag.  “Thanks for stopping in,” he says. He glances over when the bell on the door rings, smiling at the sight of Taylor.  It’s been just over a week since they reunited and Zac couldn’t be happier.

 

“Hi,” Taylor says as he walks over to the counter.

 

“Hey,” Zac says.  “I wasn’t expecting to see you until tonight.”

 

Taylor shrugs.  “I couldn’t wait.  Well, that’s not entirely true either.  I’m also looking for a record. I told my parents I would see if I could find it for them for tomorrow.”

 

“Hmm… well, you came to the right place then.  What album are you looking for?”

 

“Four Seasons.  Working My Way Back to You.”

 

Zac steps over to the computer to look up the album.  “Where’s Madeline?”

 

“With my parents.  She loves helping set up for the parties.”

 

“Do they know I’m coming tomorrow?”

 

“They know I’m bringing a friend.”  Taylor watches Zac. “I want to tell them.”

 

“I know.”  Zac smiles a little.  “I just want to know what to expect when I walk in.  Your brother knows I’m a fag.”

 

“Zac…”

 

“I’m guessing he told your parents because he certainly told your sister.”

 

“I know.  And I’m sorry.  I wish you wouldn’t call yourself that.”

 

“Why not?  It’s the truth.” 

 

“No…”  Taylor sighs.  “It’s not. I mean… yes, you’re gay.  There’s nothing wrong with that.”

 

Zac walks around the counter.  “I know that. It’s good to hear you say that, though.”  He reaches over and squeezes Taylor’s arm. “And we have the album.”  He leads Taylor over to the section it would be in and starts flipping through.

 

“Zac, I’m trying, I hope you know that.”

 

“I know you are.  You’re bringing me to your parent’s house, that’s a big step.  Even if I’m just a friend.”

 

Taylor nods as he watches Zac.  “I could watch you look through records all day if it were possible.”

 

Zac snorts as he glances over.  “Why is that?”

 

“Your face lights up when you do.”  Taylor takes the album that Zac hands him.  “Thank you. I could have looked.”

 

“I know.  But I love looking through them.”

 

“I know.  And I love watching you.”  Taylor steps forward. He’s about to lean in and kiss him when the bell on the door rings.  He steps back.

 

“I’ll be with you in just a moment,” Zac says.  He smiles at Taylor. “Anything else?”

 

“No, this is it.  I’ll go wait at the counter while you help…”

 

“Nonsense, I’ll check you out.”  Zac smiles when he sees Taylor blush.  “Wow, not what I meant.”

 

“I know.”  Taylor turns and walks away.

 

******   
  
Zac climbs out of the car after they get to Taylor’s parent’s house.  He has to wonder what today is going to bring. He walks around to the back of the car to help Taylor grab the things from the trunk.

 

“I want you here,” Taylor says.

 

Zac smiles at him.  “Thank you,” he responds. 

 

“Daddy, Zac, come on,” Madeline says.

 

“Coming,” Taylor says with a chuckle.  

 

Zac is surprised when Madeline takes his hand as they start walking around the house to the back yard.  He’s thankful for it, however. It actually made him relax ever so slightly. He smiles down at her. When they make their way to where the group is gathered, Zac can feel eyes on him, not that he should be surprised.  He glances over to see Isaac watching him.

 

“Ignore him,” Taylor says softly.  

 

“Easier said than done,” Zac mutters.  He sighs. “I’m trying.”

 

“Good.  Then come on.”  He leads Zac over to his parents.  “Mom, Dad, this is Zac Garrett. Zac, my parents, Diana and Walker.”

 

“Mr. and Mrs. Hanson, it’s nice to meet you.”  Zac shakes each of their hands, trying not to shake the entire time.

 

“Please, it’s Diana and Walker,” Diana says with a smile.  “We’re happy to have you.”

 

Zac nods.  “Okay.” He smiles a little, attempting to relax as he glances over at Taylor. 

 

“Help yourself to anything we have here.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Taylor sips at his beer as he watches Zac dancing with Madeline.  It’s an amazing sight to see. He glances beside him when he feels someone step up, not surprised to see Isaac standing there.  He’s actually surprised it’s taken his brother this long.

 

“What are you doing, Taylor?” Isaac asks.

 

“I’m drinking a beer,” Taylor answers as he looks back over toward Zac and Madeline.

 

“Taylor, be serious.”

 

“Okay, then I’m watching my daughter have the time of her life right now.”

 

“With  _ him _ ?”

 

“His name is Zac.  And isn’t it a little obvious it’s with him?”

 

“Taylor, what’s going on with you?  You’ve been acting strange for months now.  Jess even said he was at your house one night when she stopped by.”

 

“He was.  We’re friends, Isaac.  We have a lot in common.”

 

“He’s a fucking faggot.  Why…?”

 

“He doesn’t judge me.  Can you say the same?” Taylor raises an eyebrow at his brother.  “You judge everyone, Isaac. Maybe the issue with everything is you.”

 

“I think he’s corrupting you and your daughter.  You should be hiding her from him.”

 

Taylor shakes his head.  “Madeline is fine.”

 

“For how long though?  How do you know…?”

 

“Oh my God, just shut up.  I didn’t come here to get lectured.”  Taylor walks away and makes his way over to Zac and Madeline.

 

“You okay?” Zac asks.

 

Taylor nods.  “I’m good,” he answers.  “Food should be coming out soon.”

 

“Okay.”  Zac gestures over toward Isaac.  “Your brother doesn’t look too happy.”

 

“My brother can get over himself.”  Taylor shrugs.

 

Zac lifts Madeline up when they’re getting ready to leave.  She’s nearly asleep the moment she lays her head on his shoulder.  He looks over at Taylor. “Well, I think she’s tired.”

 

Taylor snorts.  “Not at all surprised,” he says.  “Want me to take her?”

 

“No, I got her.”

 

“Zac needs to carry me,” Madeline says as she tightens her hold on Zac.

 

Zac smiles.  “I’ve got you, cutie.”

 

“Good.  And you’re staying over, right?”

 

“Sure, Mady.”  He kisses the side of her head before turning to say goodbye to Taylor’s parents.  He doesn’t miss the look on their faces before they’re smiling at him. “Thank you for everything.”  He shifts Madeline as he turns again to follow Taylor.

 

Zac looks at Taylor as the other man pulls out of the driveway.  “I guess it could have been worse. They didn’t say anything to me at least.”

 

“Isaac mentioned something to me.  I’m glad he didn’t say anything to you.”  Taylor reaches over and takes Zac’s hand. “Thank you for coming with me.”

 

“You’re welcome.”  

 

* * *

  
  
Taylor closes the bedroom door and smiles at the sight of Zac sitting against the pillows.  “You look comfy,” he says.

 

“It’d be even better if you were over here,” Zac responds.  He smiles as Taylor walks over and climbs onto the bed. “Getting closer.”

 

Taylor smiles as he moves to straddle Zac’s thighs.  “How’s this?”

 

“Better.”  Zac rests his hands on Taylor’s hips.  “I had fun today.”

 

“Me too.”  He takes Zac’s hands, linking their fingers together.  “I’m glad you came with. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.”

 

“I figure it was worse for you.”

 

“Yeah, maybe.  But I’ve been dealing with them my entire life.”

 

“And I’ve been dealing with people like them for mine.”  Zac grins. “Come ‘ere.” He tugs at Taylor’s hands, pulling the man closer and kisses him softly.  As he’s sliding an arm around Taylor to roll them over, his phone is ringing. “I’m sorry.” He reaches over to grab the phone from the nightstand.  “Hello?”

 

“Hi, I’m looking for a Zac Garrett.”

 

Zac frowns.  “This is Zac Garrett.  Who’s this?”

 

“Mr. Garrett, this is Officer John Kerrigan.  We responded to an alarm at your store, Headspin.”

 

“You what?  What happened?”  Zac hangs up after finishing the phone call.  “I have to go.”

 

Taylor shifts so he can slide off of Zac’s legs.  “What happened?”

 

“I don’t know.  I just… the cops are at the store.”  He climbs out of bed and grabs his jeans.  “Fuck, I don’t have a car here.”

 

“Take mine.”

 

“Tay, I…”

 

“You need to get to the store, Zac.  It’ll take forever on the train right now.  Take my car.”

 

Zac sighs but nods.  “Thank you.” He pulls his shirt back on as he sits down on the bed to put his shoes on.  “I don’t know what happened. I don’t…”

 

“Zac, stop.”  Taylor shifts and wraps his arms around Zac from behind.  “You need to relax. You can’t drive if you’re like this. Do you want me to drive you?”

 

“No.  Mady’s sleeping.  We can’t wake her up.”  Zac leans back into Taylor’s hold.  “I’m okay. I’ll call you when I know anything.”

 

Zac frowns as he approaches the front of his store.  He sees the window has been shattered. “Oh my God,” he says.  He tries to move toward the door but is stopped by one of the cops.  “That’s my store. I’m Zac Garrett.”

 

“Let him by,” someone says.

 

Zac nods at the man who’d stopped him before walking over to the other man.  “What’s going on?”

 

“Mr. Garrett, I’m Officer Kerrigan.  We spoke on the phone. Thank you for getting here so quickly.  The alarm was triggered when the window was broken. From our first look it doesn’t look like there was anything taken.  However, you would be able to know more about that. Did you have a safe by the counter?”

 

“No.  Everything is in the back other than the register itself.”  He rubs the back of his neck. “Do you know who did it?”

 

“I’m afraid not.  We do have a witness that said they saw what they thought was a teenager running.  We don’t know if it was intentional by way of your storefront or just at random. We would like you to take a look to see if you can see anything that’s missing.”

 

“Sure, of course.”  He runs a hand through his hair.  “Can I go in now?”

 

“Yes.  Just be careful walking.”

 

Zac climbs into Taylor’s car after he finally finishes with the cops.  He closes his eyes as he tries to catch his breath. How could this be happening?  What did he do to deserve this? After taking another moment, he pulls his phone from his jeans.  Instead of calling Taylor like he had told him he would do, he sends a quick text letting him know he was on his way back.  He couldn’t talk about it right now. Not when Taylor isn’t right beside him.

 

The drive to Taylor’s is a blur.  Zac isn’t sure how he even manages it.  He walks inside, surprised to find Taylor standing there waiting for him.  The moment he sees him, his wall breaks. He walks over and practically falls into Taylor’s arms.

 

“I got you,” Taylor says softly as he holds Zac as tightly as he can.  “I got you.” He rubs Zac’s back, closing his eyes when he feels the younger man shaking.  The only reason he loosens his grip is to let Zac pull back. He meets Zac’s gaze as he moves a hand to his cheek. 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“No, don’t apologize.”  He rubs Zac’s cheek. “Wanna talk about it yet?”

 

“Someone threw a brick through the window at the store.  They don’t know who did it or why. Nothing is missing. All the money is still there.  Someone said they saw a teenager running away after it happened.”

 

“I’m sorry, Baby.  What happens now?”

 

“They boarded up the window.  I have to contact my insurance tomorrow and get that rolling.”

 

“Will you be able to keep the store open?”

 

“I have to leave it closed for at least tomorrow.  Someone from insurance is gonna have to come out and look at everything.  Hopefully that’ll be able to happen tomorrow.”

 

Taylor nods.  “I can drive you in early if you need me to.”

 

“Right now…”  Zac leans in and kisses Taylor.  “Can we just go to bed?”

 

“Anything you want.”


	13. Changes

Taylor walks into Headspin and smiles at Avery as he approaches the counter.  “New window looks good,” he says.

 

“I’m just glad it’s finally in,” Avery responds.  “Zac’s still deciding how he wants to deal with it now.  He’s thinking about putting something up.”

 

“I’m sure he’ll come up with something great.”

 

“He usually does.  So what’s up? Zac’s not here right now.”

 

“I know.  I should have an order in though.  Zac mentioned it quickly when he left yesterday.”

 

“Ah… yes.”  Avery smiles.  “It’s in the back.  I’ll go grab it for you.”

 

“Thank you.”  Taylor watches as Avery heads into the back.  While he doesn’t know Avery all that well, he somehow feels more comfortable around her than his own sister.  Definitely not something that he should feel. He pulls his phone out after he hears the tone for a new message sound.

 

**_You’re sexy._ **

 

Taylor raises an eyebrow at the text.   _ Are you drunk? _

 

**_Ha! No, just staring at you through the window._ **

 

Taylor turns as the door opens, smiling when he sees Zac walk in.  “I didn’t think you were working today.”

 

“I’m not,” Zac says.  “I was passing by when I saw you in here.”  He leans over and gives Taylor a quick kiss.  “What are you doing here?”

 

“Getting the album that came in.  Avery’s back getting it. Or getting lost.”

 

“I’m right here,” Avery says as she returns to the counter.  “Checking up on me, Zac?”

 

“Never,” Zac answers.  “I was just passing by and saw Tay.”  

 

Taylor follows Zac out of the store after he pays for the album.  “Where were you headed?”

 

“The store.  I’m in need of some food.  Of course, it would also help if I would have grabbed my bags to carry said food home in.  They’re much easier than dealing with the bags they give me.”

 

Taylor smiles at him.  “Well, it’s not like you live super far away.”

 

“Very true.  Wanna join me?  Or do you need to get back for Mady?  Wait, it’s summer. Where is Mady?”

 

“She’s with Amber.  She has her for the week actually.  She was taking a vacation with her parents.  I didn’t tell you about it?”

 

“I remember you mentioning it.  I didn’t remember when it was.”

 

“So to answer your question, yes, I’ll join you.”

 

Zac smiles.  “Great.” He nudges Taylor as they make their way toward his place.  “Maybe I’ll even cook for you.”

 

“You can cook?”  Taylor flashes a bright smile at Zac.

 

“You’re hilarious.  I don’t just live on Chinese food.”

 

“You’d never know by your fridge.”

 

Zac snorts.  “Whatever.” 

 

After they return from shopping, Taylor pulls his album out to play while Zac starts putting groceries away.  Taylor smiles when the music flows through the apartment as he joins Zac in the kitchen. 

 

“Need help?” he asks.

 

Zac shakes his head.  “Nah, I got it.” He smiles over at Taylor.  “You can just stand there and look sexy.”

 

Taylor rolls his eyes.  “You’re insane.” He leans against the counter and watches Zac.  “Listen, things may be changing. I um… with Mady being at her Mom’s I’ve made a decision.  I figure it’ll be easier if she wasn’t around for it.”

 

“Meaning what?”

 

“I’m having dinner with my parents Wednesday and I’m going to tell them.”  

 

Zac turns and leans against the counter as he watches Taylor.  “Do you want me to go with?”

 

“No.  Don’t get me wrong, I would love to have you there for the support or whatever.  I just can’t put you in that situation. What I am asking…” He shrugs. “I just need you to be ready for me after.”

 

“Anything you need, Tay.”  He moves to stand beside Taylor.  Before he can say anything else, they’re interrupted by Taylor’s phone ringing.

 

“Naturally.”  Taylor smiles a little.  “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be.”  He frowns when Taylor silences the phone.  “You can answer it.”

 

“It’s my brother.  Not really in the mood to talk to him.”

 

“Well, I can’t say I would ever be in the mood to talk to your brother.”

 

Taylor laughs softly.  “Given his track record with you…”

 

“I’m more worried about his track record with you.  He’s your brother and he should be there for you.” He sighs when Taylor’s phone goes off again, this time notifying him of a text.  “Apparently he’s not going to give up.”

 

“Looks that way.”  Taylor pulls his phone out.

 

**_You better get home now…_ **

 

Taylor frowns after he reads the message.   _ What’s going on? _

 

“What’s wrong?” Zac asks.

 

“I don’t know,” Taylor answers.  “He just I better get home now.”

 

**_Just get to your house._ **

 

“I need to go apparently.”  Taylor’s frown deepens. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

 

“I’m coming with you.”

 

“Zac…”

 

“You don’t get to argue with me.  I’m not letting you go alone.”

 

“I took the train.”

 

“Fine.”

 

Zac stops beside Taylor when they reach his house.  “You have to go in,” he says.

 

“I know.  I just don’t know what I’m walking into.”  Taylor looks at him. “Sure you want to come in with me?”

 

“Yes.”  Zac squeezes Taylor’s shoulder.

 

Taylor gives him a small smile before walking into his house.  He finds his family in the living room. It doesn’t take much to know that Diana is crying.  “What’s going on?” he asks. “What happened?” His first thought is Madeline. “Did Amber call you?  Is Madeline okay?” He frowns when no one says anything. “What’s…?” He stops when he sees Isaac push a photo forward on the coffee table.  Taylor frowns as he moves over, gasping when he sees what the picture is. 

 

“You’re sick,” Jessica says.  

 

“No…”  Taylor stares down at the picture.  He remembers the morning it happened.  He’d been taking pictures of Zac sleeping.  The man had woken up and it was perfect for them.  Taylor insisted on getting a picture of them together.  He hadn’t known at the time, but figured it out when he developed the film, that when he was putting the camera down after Zac kissed him, he’d gotten a picture.  

 

“Jordan, you need help,” Walker says.

 

Taylor closes his eyes when his Dad used his first name.  “Don’t call me Jordan. There’s nothing…”

 

“It’s your fault,” Isaac says as he points at Zac.  “You sick fuck. You did this to him.”

 

Taylor shakes his head.  “No! He didn’t do this.”

 

“If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t even have these.  He’s brainwashing you.”

 

“Wake up, Isaac.  It’s not 1950 anymore.  I was born this way. I tried to deny it for a long time.  I couldn’t anymore. I’m gay.”

 

“No, you’re not,” Diana says as she stands up.  “You are not gay. I will not have a gay son.”

 

“Well, you do Mom.”  He shrugs.

 

“What about Madeline?  What about Amber? What are they going to say?”

 

“Amber better keep Madeline far away from your fag ass,” Isaac says. 

 

Taylor shakes his head.  “Amber knows.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, trying not to completely break down right now.  He feels like he could just curl up and cry right now, but he can’t let himself do that. “Mady knows.”

 

“How could you let your own daughter see this?” Walker asks.  “Do you know how wrong it is?”

 

Taylor feels Zac step up closer to him.  He’s thankful that Zac insisted on coming with.  “Is love wrong? Because if that’s wrong, you’ve been wrong for almost 40 years.”

 

“This isn’t love, Jordan.”

 

“Then tell me what love is,  _ Walker _ .”

 

“Love is between a man and a woman…”

 

“No.  Love is beyond gender.  Love is when two people form a bond that is far stronger than anything around them.  Love is being able to see the imperfections and still seeing perfection. Love is knowing that when you have a bad day, a simple hug can make everything go away.  Love is knowing that you have someone who cares about you enough to stand by your side through the worst of times.”

 

“That’s enough,” Diana says.  “I won’t stand here and listen to this.”

 

“Would you rather I talk about how he fucks me through the mattress?  Or the way my eyes roll back every time he enters me. Or maybe the way his cock feels when I’m sucking him.”

 

“Jordan Taylor, that’s enough,” Walker says.

 

“For the first time in a very long time, I’m happy.  Isn’t that what life is about? Zac makes me happy.”

 

“Zac’s corrupted you,” Isaac says.

 

“No, I think it’s more that Mom and Dad have corrupted you.”  He shakes his head. “I think you should all leave.”

 

“No, we are not done here,” Diana says.  “Why would you do this to us? Where did we go wrong?”

 

Taylor drops his head forward.  “Damn it, Mom.”

 

“Language…”

 

“Oh for fuck sake.”  Taylor points at Isaac.  “He’s spent his entire life calling every gay person we’ve come across a faggot and I’m the one getting yelled at?  No, that’s not how this is going to go down. Because there is nothing wrong with who I am. I am a gay man. I am in love with another man.”

 

“You don’t know what…”

 

“I do know what I’m talking about.  Because in the entire time I was married to Amber, I never felt what I do with Zac.  That says something. So yes…” Taylor grabs the picture and turns it around for his entire family to see.  “This picture is of me kissing my boyfriend. The night before? That was the first time we had sex. No, not even sex.  We made love. This picture? Lead to another round of love making.”

 

“Tay,” Zac says softly.  He reaches out and squeezes his wrist.

 

“I love him and there’s nothing you can do to change that.”

 

“You’re sick,” Jessica says again.  “If this is how you’re going to be… you are no longer my brother.”

 

Taylor’s heart sinks at that.  “Then there’s the door. I think you should all leave.”

 

“You’ll regret this,” Isaac growls at Zac as they leave.  

 

The moment the door closes, Taylor falls to his knees.  Zac drops behind him and wraps his arms around Taylor. He’s thankful that Taylor doesn’t pull away from him.

 

“I got you,” Zac says.  They stay like this for several minutes.  Zac doesn’t say anything. He wants Taylor to be the one to make the next move.  When he feels Taylor shift, he loosens his grip. He watches as Taylor turns around and sit fully.

 

“I’m sorry,” Taylor says.

 

“No, don’t apologize.  You have nothing to apologize for.”  Zac reaches forward and rests his hand on Taylor’s cheek.  “Tell me what you want me to do.”

 

Taylor shrugs.  “Just don’t leave me.”

 

“I’m here.  Why don’t we go sit on the couch?”  He watches as Taylor simply nods. He stands up, helping Taylor to his feet.  They move over to the couch and sit down. Zac reaches for the stack of pictures that’s on the coffee table.  

 

“I can’t stay here tonight,” Taylor says as he watches Zac flip through the pictures.

 

“Then you won’t.  You’ll come home with me.”  He smiles when he comes across the photo of them in bed.  “I love this picture. I hated you for taking it, but I love it.”  

 

“Take it.”

 

Zac leans over and kisses Taylor softly.  “What I want to know is how you manage to take an amazing photo when it’s not even on purpose?”  He holds the photo of their kiss up. “Seriously? I can’t take a good photo to save my life.”

 

Taylor laughs softly.  “Thank you for being here.  I know I tried talking you out of coming, but I’m glad you insisted.”

 

Zac nods.  “You’re welcome.  Why don’t you go pack a bag?  We’ll head back to my place and just hang out.”

 

“Yeah, okay.”  He leans over and kisses Zac.  “Thank you.”


	14. Don't Let Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay in posting! On top of joining a couple of writing challenges, I've been going through a rough patch personally. Hope you enjoy the update!

Zac sits down at the kitchen table and lets out a heavy breath.  Taylor had gone to bed early; only after Zac made him eat some dinner.  Zac just hopes that tomorrow will be better. He has to wonder if this is what he’s like when he’s going through one of his episodes.  He lifts Taylor’s phone up. He knows it’s probably wrong, but he has to let Amber know. He finds her name in Taylor’s contacts and presses send.

 

“Hey, I was beginning to think you weren’t gonna call,” Amber answers.

 

Zac frowns a little.  “Amber?”

 

“Yes, who’s this?”

 

“Zac.  I’m…”

 

“Taylor’s boyfriend.”

 

Zac smiles a little.  “Yeah, Tay’s boyfriend.  Listen, I’m sorry to call like this.”

 

“Is Taylor okay?”

 

“Physically, yes.  Emotionally and mentally?  Not so much. His family found out today.”

 

“Did he tell them?”

 

“No, he didn’t get the chance.  They found a picture of him and I.  There was no denying what it meant.”  Zac sighs. “I just… he’s sleeping right now.  It’s been a rough evening.”

 

“Do you need me to come over or anything?”

 

“No, I’ve got it.  I just wanted to let you know.  I know he normally calls Mady before bed.”

 

“He does.  Figured that’s what this call was for.  I’ll just let Madeline know that Daddy’s sleeping.”

 

“Do you think I could talk to her for a second?  I know I’m not Daddy and I don’t want to overstep my place.”

 

“No, Zac.  I think it would be great if you would talk to her.  Here she is.”

 

Zac smiles as he hears movement on the other end of the line.  He hears Madeline ask if it’s Daddy and his heart almost breaks at that.

 

“Hi, Zac!” Madeline exclaims.

 

“Hi there.”  Zac smiles. “I hear you’re with your Mommy all week.”

 

“I am!  We’re going to the zoo tomorrow with Gran and Pop.”

 

“Yeah?  That’ll be fun.”

 

“Where’s Daddy?”

 

“Daddy’s sleeping.  He’s not feeling well tonight.  So he went to bed. I thought I would call and say goodnight to you.  I know he normally does, but he just couldn’t make it tonight.”

 

“That’s okay.  Just make sure you give him a goodnight kiss from me.”

 

“I will.  You make sure you get some sleep, Mady.  Daddy will talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

 

“Okay.  I love you, Zac.”

 

Zac’s heart jumps at that.  He can’t stop the smile that forms on his face.  He never thought hearing a child say that would get to him like this.  “I love you too, Mady.”

 

After ending the call, Zac sets the phone down on the table and lets out a heavy breath.  He’s not sure what to expect when Taylor wakes up. He just knows that he has to be prepared for anything.  Standing up, Zac makes his way to his bedroom. He leans against the doorjamb as he watches Taylor sleep. At least the man is still asleep.

 

* * *

  
  
Taylor wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache.  He groans as he covers his face with his hands. Apparently, yesterday wasn’t a dream.  He jumps a little when he feels the bed move. When he drops his hands, he realizes he’s not in his own bed.  Zac’s… he’s at Zac’s. He looks over to find Zac still asleep and smiles a little. After watching Zac for another minute, he crawls out of bed.  He just hopes he’ll be able to find something for his headache. 

 

He makes his way to the kitchen and looks through the cabinets, thankful when it doesn’t take him long to find what he’s looking for.  “Thank God,” he mutters. He sits down at the small table after he grabs a glass of water as well. He isn’t sure how much time passes when he hears Zac enter the room.

 

“How you feeling?” Zac asks.

 

Taylor turns and looks at him.  “I’ve been better,” he answers.

 

Zac nods as he moves over.  He squeezes Taylor’s shoulder.  “I um…” He sighs. “I called Amber last night.”

 

Taylor frowns as he shifts so he can look at Zac again.  “You called Amber?”

 

“Yes.  You call Madeline pretty much every night when she’s with Amber.  So… I just didn’t want them to worry. Please don’t be mad at me.”

 

Taylor shakes his head.  “No, I’m not. I’m surprised.”  

 

Zac leans down and kisses Taylor.  “I should also warn you.”

 

“Oh God…”

 

“No, it’s nothing bad.  I don’t think anyways. I talked to Mady.  She told me she loves me.”

 

Taylor smiles.  “Yeah?” He looks up at Zac.  “Hmm… Not surprised.” He reaches out, taking Zac’s hand.  “Thank you, Zac.”

 

Zac frowns.  “For what?”

 

“Being here.  You could have left.”

 

“No…”  Zac moves and drops to his knees beside Taylor.  “I couldn’t have left. I’m in too deep with you, Tay.  I can’t leave. I’m in love with you.” He leans in and kisses Taylor softly.  

 

Taylor squeezes his eyes shut when Zac tells him he’s in love with him.  He rests a hand on Zac’s cheek. “Oh, God.” He lets Zac kiss him once again.  He doesn’t want this to end just yet. “Zac…”

 

“Tell me what you need.”

 

“I don’t know.”  He takes a shaky breath.  “A shower. I need a shower.”

 

Zac nods.  “Come on, Babe.”  He stands back up and pulls Taylor up with him.  “I’ve got you.” He meets Taylor’s gaze. “Come on, come with me.”  Zac takes Taylor’s hand and leads him down to the bathroom. He reaches in to start the shower.  “Take your clothes off.”

 

Taylor does as he’s told.  When Zac steps to the side, he moves forward and steps into the shower.  He looks back at Zac. “Are you coming in?”

 

“Do you want me to?”

 

Taylor nods.  “Yes.”

 

“Okay.”  Zac strips out of his clothes before stepping into the shower behind Taylor.  He pulls the curtain closed.

 

Taylor turns and looks at Zac.  “I need you, Zac. Please?”

 

Zac pulls Taylor against him and kisses him.  “Anything you need.”

 

Taylor turns back around and leans back into Zac’s hold.  “Don’t let go, Zac. I need you.”

 

“I’m here.”  Zac kisses his shoulder.  “I got you.”

 

“Take me.  Now. Please.”

 

“Shhh… I’ve got you.”  He shifts enough to grip his cock.  He keeps an arm around Taylor as he guides himself into him.  He feels Taylor tighten on him immediately. “Relax.” He rests his hand on Taylor’s stomach.  “Want me to stop?”

 

“No.”  Taylor shakes his head.  “No.” He rests his hand over Zac’s.  “Love me, Zac.”

 

Zac slides his other arm around Taylor once he’s fully buried inside him.  “Forever, Babe.” He kisses the side of Taylor’s neck as he starts to move slowly.  “I’ve got you. Forever, Babe. I’m here.” He slides his hand up Taylor’s chest before turning the man’s face to capture his mouth in a kiss.

 

“Don’t leave me.”  It's mumbled against Zac’s mouth, but he catches every word.

 

“Never.”  He wraps a hand around Taylor’s cock, stroking in time with each thrust.  “I’m yours, Tay.”

 

Taylor reaches back, curling his fingers into Zac’s hair.  “Mine. I’m yours.” He whimpers. “Zac…”

 

“Let go, Taylor.  Come for me.”

 

“Not until you do.  Please.”

 

“I’m close.”  Zac bites down on Taylor’s shoulder.  “Tighten on me, Babe.” He smiles against Taylor’s skin when he feels him tightening.  “Yes…” He thrusts in one last time before he comes.

 

Taylor cries out with his own release.  “Oh, God.” 

 

Zac slips out of Taylor after they stand there for a moment.  He turns the older man around and kisses him. “I love you.”

 

“I love you.”  Taylor wraps his arms around Zac’s neck.  “Thank you.”


	15. Move

Taylor looks over at Zac after Zac pulls into the driveway.  He had told Zac he didn’t need to come with him, but the man insisted.  Taylor’s really not surprised, however. He knows how worried Zac has been.  “You gonna come in?”

 

Zac nods.  “For a few minutes.  I want to make sure everything’s good.”

 

Taylor nods as they climb out of the car.  He pulls his keys from his bag. “I should probably have my locks changed.  Who knows what my family will do now. Or what they’ve already done.” He wrinkles his nose as unlocks the front door.  He looks at Zac before he walks inside. Nothing seems to be out of place. 

 

Zac closes the door behind him.  “I’ll call the guy I had do the store.”

 

“Zac…”

 

“I want to help, Tay.  I know him already so I know you won’t have any issues.”

 

Taylor looks at Zac and smiles.  “Okay. Thank you.” He watches Zac pulls his phone from his pocket.  “I appreciate it.”

 

“I want you safe.”  Zac gives Taylor a quick kiss before he walks over to sit down in the living room. 

 

After taking a quick look around the house, Taylor makes his way back to the living room.  He’s thankful that his family hasn’t been back as far as he could tell. He’s not sure what they would have done, but he knows how hated he is right now.  In their eyes, he’s dead to them.

 

Zac looks over at Taylor after he finishes his call.  “He’ll be out in an hour.”

 

“Okay.”  Taylor takes a seat beside Zac.  “If it wasn’t for my dark room, I’d just sell this place and find somewhere closer to rent.”

 

“What about Mady?  And Amber? Where does she live?”

 

“She’s closer to downtown.  Mady would love to be closer.  If for no other reason than to go to Headspin every day.”

 

Zac chuckles.  “My kinda girl.  You could always look to buy something.”

 

“Yeah, I suppose.”  He leans against the back of the couch and lets out a soft breath.  “Guess it couldn’t hurt to look.”

 

“Exactly.”  He shifts so he can look at Taylor.  “I'll help if you want. Not that I know anything about buying a house.  But I can be there for moral support or whatever.”

 

Taylor smiles.  “I'll keep that in mind.”  He reaches over and takes Zac’s hand.  “Thank you, Zac. For everything. It means a lot to me that you’re willing to go through this with me.  You definitely don’t have to.”

 

Zac squeezes Taylor’s hand.  “I want to, though. We’re in this thing together, Tay.  I told you already that I’m in too deep with you. It’s gonna take a lot more than this to get rid of me.”

 

Leaning over, Taylor kisses him softly.  “I don’t wanna get rid of you. Ever.”

 

“Hmm… good to know.”  

 

Two hours later, all of the locks in the house have been changed with Taylor and Zac having the only keys.  Taylor can already feel the worry lifting away. He knows that his family won’t be able to get into his house and try anything.  While he isn’t sure they would, he’d rather be safe.

 

Taylor plops down on the couch and lets out a heavy breath.  “Do I need to worry about you having a key?” he asks as Zac sits down beside him.

 

Zac snorts.  “You’re insane,” he responds.  “Hey, would you actually move?”

 

Taylor looks over at Zac.  “Yeah, I would. Nothing but my darkroom is keeping me in this house.”

 

“I own the building the store is in and it has a basement.  It would need some updates and then we’d obviously have to fix it up for the darkroom.  But I think it’s something that can be done. And before you go into something about renting the space or whatever, we can work that out.”

 

Taylor runs a hand through his hair as he thinks over what Zac had just said.  It would definitely be nice to get out of this house. Not just the house, but farther from his parents.  “That would solve the darkroom issue,” Taylor says. “And I would just need to find somewhere for Mady and me to live.”

 

Zac nods.  “Tay…” No, he can’t ask them to move in with him, can he?  It’s too soon for that, right? “Just give me all the info on what you need and I can get in contact with a contractor.”

 

Taylor smiles.  “Okay.”

 

“I’m serious.”

 

“I know.”  Taylor leans over and kisses Zac.  “Thank you. It means the world to me what you’re willing to do this for me.”

 

“I have my selfish reasons too.  You having a dark room in the basement means you’re there more.”

 

Taylor laughs softly as he looks around the room.  “Zac…” He sighs. “I don’t wanna stay here tonight.”

 

“Then don’t.”  Reaching over, Zac curls his fingers into Taylor’s hair.  “Stay with me.” He tugs on the older man’s hair, smiling when Taylor instantly leans over.  Zac captures his mouth in a soft kiss. 

 

Taylor shifts and straddles over Zac’s lap.  Zac smiles against Taylor’s mouth as he slides his free arm around him.  He has to let out a soft moan when Taylor rocks his hips. Taylor pulls back and looks down at Zac.  Zac releases his hold of Taylor’s hair, moving his fingertips over his lips. As he moves his hand down, resting it on Taylor’s hip, he waits for the other man to make a move.  He isn’t sure what Taylor wants or needs right now, so he’ll let him take control until he’s told otherwise. He drops his arms when Taylor shifts slightly. He watches as he reaches back and pulls his shirt off.

 

“Is this okay?” Taylor asks softly.

 

“As long as it’s okay with you,” Zac answers just as softly.  He gasps when Taylor bites down on the side of his neck gently.  “Fuck, that’s good.” He drops his head back, letting Taylor have better access.

 

Taylor’s about to move to the other side of Zac’s neck when his phone rings.  He groans and drops his head to Zac’s shoulder. “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

 

“Just see who it is.”  He rubs Taylor’s back as he watches the man pull his phone from his pocket.  “Who is it?”

 

“Isaac.”  Taylor silences the call and puts his phone to the side.

 

“Want me to answer it?”

 

“No.  I don’t want to even think about him right now.”  He rests his hands on the sides of Zac’s neck. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”  Zac runs his hands up and down Taylor’s back.  “What would you say about getting away for a few days?  The three of us.”

 

Taylor smiles.  “I think that sounds perfect.  Where would we go?”

 

“I don’t know.  We’ll figure it out.  Will Amber be okay with it?  I don’t want to overstep any lines.”

 

“Amber will be fine with it.  When I pick Madeline up on Sunday, you should come with.  I want you to meet Amber.”

 

“Okay.”  Zac slides a hand around to Taylor’s chest.

 

“Can we leave?  Go to your place?”

 

“Of course.”  He pulls Taylor in for one last kiss.  “Go pack some clothes.”

 

Zac follows Taylor into his apartment and watches as the man sets his bags down.  He can still see how exhausted Taylor is. Stepping up behind the older man, he wraps an arm around his waist.  “You doin’ okay?” he asks.

 

Taylor leans back into Zac’s hold.  “Yeah,” he answers. “Thanks to you.”

 

Zac turns his head, kissing the side of Taylor’s neck.  “I haven’t done anything.”

 

“You’re here.”  Taylor turns around and rests his forehead on Zac’s.  “Zac…” He rests his hands on Zac’s hips as he pushes the younger man back against the door.  He pulls back enough to look at Zac. “Let me have this.”

 

Zac licks his lips as he watches Taylor.  “Have what, Babe?” He’s about to say something else when Taylor slides his hand to the front of his jeans.  Zac gasps at the feel of Taylor’s hand cupping him. He watches as Taylor drops to his knees. “Tay…”

 

Taylor looks up at Zac as he undoes his jeans.  “Is this okay?”

 

Zac nods.  “Yes. Anything you want.”  He lifts his shirt slightly when Taylor pushes at it.

 

Taylor tugs Zac’s jeans and boxers down enough to free his cock.  He looks up at Zac once again as he wraps his hand around his cock, stroking it slowly.  Zac’s eyes close as he lets his head fall back against the door. He’d be fine with Taylor getting him off like this.  He loves the way Taylor’s hand feels around him. There’s still a slight hesitation from the other man, but there’s also a need behind it.  Zac gasps when he feels Taylor’s lips wrap around him.

 

“Fuck,” he moans, looking down at Taylor.  He bites down on his bottom lip so he doesn’t moan too loudly.  Not that he would care who hears him. Reaching down, he curls his fingers into Taylor’s hair.  His stomach jumps at the way Taylor’s blue eyes look up at him. “So fucking perfect, Babe.” He lets his head fall against the door again as Taylor bobs his head.  “Oh God, so good.”

 

Taylor simply hums around Zac, finally letting his eyes close.  He’s still unsure as to how good he actually is at doing this, but Zac never complains.  Taylor hates that he let himself wait so long to know what this feels like. However, he’s glad the first time it happened had been with Zac.  

 

He opens his eyes once again to find Zac looking down at him.  He hasn’t even touched himself, but he’s pretty sure he could come at just that look.  Zac’s fingers tighten in his hair, letting him know just how close he is to his own release.  Taylor is tempted to pull off and make it last a little longer, but he simply can’t. Instead, he sucks all of Zac in, letting him hit the back of his throat.

 

“Shit.”  Zac’s hips buck forward, unable to stop the movement.  “Oh yes, Taylor.” He whines out as he comes. He watches those blue eyes look up once again as Taylor swallows everything.

 

Taylor pulls off and smiles up at Zac.  “Thank you.”

 

Zac leans down and kisses Taylor hard.  “Nothing to thank me for.” He kisses him again.


	16. Amber

Zac follows Taylor up the stairs of the building they’d just walked into.  He still isn’t sure meeting Amber is a good idea, but Taylor’s sure it is. Zac trusts Taylor, which is why he isn’t arguing about being here.  

 

Taylor knocks on Amber’s door before pushing it open.  “Hello,” he calls out. He glances behind him at Zac who hasn’t followed him inside yet.  “You can come in.”

 

“It’s weird,” Zac mutters as he does step inside, closing the door behind him.  “I don’t know her.”

  
“But I do.”  Taylor reaches back and takes Zac’s hand.  “Relax.”

 

“I’m trying.  Not often I meet my boyfriend’s ex- _ wife _ .”  He tenses slightly when he sees a woman walking down the hall.

 

“Hey,” Taylor says.  He drops Zac’s hand and gives the woman a hug.  “I was beginning to think you weren’t home.” He looks over at Zac and smiles.  “This is Zac Garrett. Zac, this is Amber.”

 

Zac holds his hand out and smiles at Amber.  “Amber, it’s nice…” Before he has a chance to finish, Amber is hugging him.  He throws a quick look over at Taylor before returning the hug.

 

“I’m sorry for just hugging you like that,” Amber says after pulling back.  “I feel like I know you already. Between Madeline and Taylor, I hear about you all the time.”

 

Zac grins.  “Well, it goes both ways.”

 

“Just don’t believe everything Taylor says about me.”

 

“Amber,” Taylor says with a laugh.  “Stop it.”

 

Amber smiles at him as she slides her arm around his waist.  “All I have to say is that it’s so good to see this one happy again.  So thank you for coming into his life.”

 

Zac shrugs.  “It all happened with him walking into my store.”

 

Taylor smiles at Zac.  “I was terrified the second I saw you.”

 

“Daddy!” Madeline exclaims as she runs down the hall.  “Zac!”  

 

Zac lifts the young girl up when she launches herself at him.  “Hi there.” He smiles at her.

 

“I didn’t know you were coming too!  Daddy didn’t tell me. Mommy didn’t either.  But you’re here.”

 

“I am here.  Are you okay that I’m here?”

 

“Yes!”  She wraps her arms around Zac’s neck, hugging him tightly.

 

Zac laughs softly as he holds onto the young girl.  “Good, I’m glad.”

 

Taylor looks over at Zac after they walk out of the building.  “I told you it would be fine,” he says.

 

Zac nods.  “I know,” he mutters.  “And I believed you. I just panicked.”  He smiles when Taylor reaches over and squeezes his arm.

 

“Daddy, why don’t you have your car?” Madeline asks.  “You always pick me up in your car.”

 

Taylor smiles down at his daughter.  “I know I do, Mady. However, the car is still at the house.  We’re going to stay at Zac’s tonight.” He has to laugh at the excited look on her face.  “How does that sound?”

 

“Are we really staying at Zac’s?” she asks.

 

“We are.”  He laughs again when she looks at Zac as if she doesn’t believe him.

 

“Are we really staying with you?”

 

Zac smiles at her.  “You really are. Daddy wanted to wait to tell you until now so you could be surprised.”

 

“But it’s a school night.”

 

“You’ll still go to school,” Taylor says.  “We’ll just have to leave a little earlier.”

 

“Wow, cool!”

 

* * *

  
  
Taylor walks into the bedroom after finally getting Madeline to sleep.  He isn’t too surprised that it had taken more than normal. He’s just glad that it wasn’t as bad as he originally thought.

 

“She asleep finally?” Zac asks.

 

“Yes,” Taylor answers as he climbs into bed.  “I actually thought it was gonna be worse.” He rolls onto his side and looks at Zac.  “We’ll go back to the house tomorrow.”

 

“You don’t have to.  You can stay here as long as you want.”

 

“I know.  And I appreciate that.”  Taylor leans over and kisses Zac softly.  “However, I need to start going through the house so I can get it up for sale.”

 

Zac nods.  “I’ll call the contractor I used at the store to come take a look for you.  If you want.”

 

“That would be great.  I can be there basically whenever.”

 

“Mornings and afternoons school drop off and pick up times out, right?”

 

“Yes.  But if that’s the only availability, I can work something out.  I’m actually glad I’m going in tomorrow. I wanna add you to the contact list for Mady.”

 

Zac’s stomach jumps at that.  “You do?”

 

“Of course I do.”  Taylor smiles. “As long as you’re okay with that?”

 

“Yeah, definitely.”  He chuckles. “God, way to make me emotional right now.”  He rests his hand on Taylor’s cheek.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“No, it’s okay.  I just didn’t expect anything like this to ever happen.”  He trails his thumb over Taylor’s lips. “Truth is, as much as I love kids, I was never sure I wanted them.  But Mady? I love that little girl.”

 

Taylor grins.  “She loves you too.  You know that, right?”

 

“I know.”  Zac leans in, kissing Taylor.  “I know I shouldn’t ask this…” He meets Taylor’s gaze.  “I don’t know if it’s too soon or not. But I can’t let you move without bringing this up.  I know this place is too small, but… move in with me. I want you and Mady to be here. We can find somewhere bigger.  I’ll go anywhere you want. I just want you two with me.” When Taylor doesn’t say anything, Zac panics. He shouldn’t have asked.  It was a stupid thing to ask. He starts to roll away, but Taylor stops him. “Let me go. Just forget I said anything.”

 

“I don’t wanna forget you said anything,” Taylor says.  He moves closer, wrapping his arm around Zac’s waist when he struggles against him.  “Will you stop?”  

 

“It was stupid to ask.”

 

“No, it wasn’t.  You just surprised me.”  Taylor leans in and kisses Zac.  “I won’t say yes until we talk to Mady about it.”

 

Zac watches him carefully.  “Serious?”

 

“Yes, serious.  But I can’t decide without Madeline.”

 

“I wouldn’t want you to decide without her.”  He smiles before closing the distance and kissing Taylor.  “We’ll talk to her in the morning. I mean… you’ll talk to her in the morning.”

 

“You had it right the first time.  We’ll talk to her.” Taylor rests his hand on Zac’s cheek.  “We’re in this together.”

 

“That’s good to hear.”  He slides his arm around Taylor’s waist.  “We should probably sleep.”

 

“Probably a good idea.”

 

Zac wakes up the next morning when he feels the bed shift.  He opens his eyes to see Taylor climbing out of bed. “What time is it?” he asks.

 

Taylor looks back.  “A little after six,” he answers.  “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

 

“It’s okay.”  Zac sits up and rubs his eyes.  “When do you have to leave?”

 

“There’s a six-fifty train we should catch.”  Taylor tugs his jeans on. “What time do you work today?”

 

“I’m opening today.  So little before eleven.  Are you coming back here tonight?”

 

“I don’t know yet.  I’ll have to figure that out.  I suppose we’ll see how this morning goes with getting her up.  What time do you get off work?”

 

“Depends on how busy we get today.  If it’s busy, I’ll stay later. If not, probably six or seven.”

 

Taylor nods.  “Okay. We’ll have to figure out a time to talk to Mady.  I don’t doubt that she’ll say let’s move in with you. But she won’t want to go to school if we talk to her this morning.”

 

Zac chuckles.  “Probably not a good idea to talk to her before school then.”

 

“Go back to sleep.  We’ll come in and say goodbye.  She’ll want to see you before we leave.”

 

“Good.  I want to see her too.”

 

Taylor smiles as he watches Madeline shake Zac the moment she’s on the bed.  He’s slightly surprised at how quickly Zac had fallen asleep again.

 

“Zac, wake up,” Madeline says.  

 

Zac groans.  “I’m up,” he mutters as he opens his eyes.  He smiles at Madeline. “Are you ready for school?”

 

“Yes.  But I had to say goodbye.”

 

“Well, I’m glad you did.”  He hugs the young girl. “I wanted to say goodbye to you before you left.”  He kisses the side of her head. “You have a great day, okay?”

 

“I will.”  She kisses his cheek.  “Bye, Zac.”

 

Zac smiles as he watches Taylor and Madeline walk out of the bedroom.  This could be how it is every morning; though, he wouldn’t want to be in bed every time.  He wants to help out in their morning routine. He just hopes they’ll let him.


	17. Baggage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the crazy delay in getting this updated! Hopefully it won't be as long for the next one.

Taylor pulls his phone out of his pocket so he can send Zac a text.  He knows the other man is at work, but he’ll answer when he’s able to.  It’s not anything that needs to be answered right away. 

 

_ Mady wants to stay there again tonight.  I told her I’d talk to you. _

 

He sets his phone to the side and lets out a heavy breath.  He knows he really doesn’t need to question whether or not they could stay, but he doesn’t want to just drop it on Zac either.  He smiles to himself, already imagining Zac rolling his eyes at him.

 

**_You better simply be talking about needing to talk to me about food. Big dummy, I told you to stay._ **

 

_ Did you really just call me a big dummy?  _  Taylor snorts as he reads Zac’s text again before he types out another text.   _ What do you want for dinner? _

 

**_Good with anything. Surprise me. Gotta go. I’ll call you later._ **

 

Taylor sets his phone to the side again and smiles.  How’d he get so lucky? Okay, so he’s not completely lucky.  His family has now disowned him. But he has his daughter and his boyfriend.  Not to mention his ex-wife. He’s gotten lucky there. Madeline, Zac, and Amber are his life.  It’s all he needs.

 

It’s just after two when he hears his phone rings.  His smile returns at the sight of Zac’s name on the screen.  

 

“Hey,” Taylor says.

 

“Hey back.  You busy?”

 

“No, just going through some things in the house.  Shouldn’t you be busy though? You’re at work.”

 

Zac laughs.  “Avery just got here, so I took a quick break.  What time do you have to get Mady?”

 

“I’ll be there about ten to three.”

 

“You coming straight here then?”

 

“No.  We’ll have to come back to the house for more clothes.”

 

“That’s always a good idea.  Hey, I know you have to leave again in the morning to get Mady to school.  But what about after she goes? Are you busy? Though, I guess you would be with work seen as you’re off today, right?”

 

Taylor chuckles.  “Zac, are you going to let me answer?”

 

“Yeah, sorry.”

 

“I have a thing in the morning, but I’ll be done by eleven.”

 

“Great!  Think you can be at the store early afternoon?”

 

Taylor frowns a little.  “Yeah, as long as I can get back in time to get Mady.  There’s no way Amber can get her tomorrow.”

 

“I called that contractor.  He said he can come speak with us about everything.  He had an opening tomorrow at one. I told him to put us down and I would talk to you.  Hang on.”

 

Taylor can hear someone talking in the background.  He frowns when Zac growls. That can’t be good.

 

“Gimme five minutes, I’ll be right up.  Tay, I’m back.”

 

“Is everything okay?” Taylor asks.  

 

“Yeah, just an issue with a shipment.  It’ll get fixed.”

 

“Of course it will, you are amazing like that.”  Did he really just say that? “That was stupid, sorry.”

 

“It was sweet, thank you.  I should probably go and get it settled though.”

 

“Probably a good idea.  And you can let the contractor know that one is good.”

 

“I will.  I’ll talk to you later.  I’ll let you know when I’ll be home.”

 

“Okay.”  Taylor hangs up after they say their goodbyes.  He has to smile once again. He’s not sure he’s ever smiled as much as he has since meeting Zac.  Zac has brought something out of Taylor that he never thought possible.

 

* * *

  
  
Zac closes the door behind him after getting home from work.  He smiles at the sounds he hears from the kitchen. It’s a sound he’s not sure he ever thought he would hear in his place.  He’s not sure he ever wanted to hear these sounds. That was all before Taylor walked into his life, however. He turns in the kitchen and leans against the door jam.  Madeline is sitting at the table working on her homework while Taylor is standing at the stove. He could get used to this.

 

“Hey,” Zac says finally making his presence known.

 

Taylor looks back and smiles.  “Hey,” he says.

 

Zac laughs softly when Madeline runs over and jumps into his arms.  “Hey there.” He kisses the side of her head. “How was school?”

 

“It was good.  And guess what?”

 

“What?”

 

“For show and tell this week, we get to bring something that someone gave us that means something to us.  Guess what I’m bringing?”

 

“Hmm…”  Zac watches her.  “What are you bringing?”

 

Madeline beams at him.  “The album you gave me. The one you gave me that day we were in the store.  After we hadn’t seen you in forever.”

 

Zac smiles.  “That’s one of my favorite albums.  I had to make sure you had it.”

 

“Daddy put the record player in my room back at the house.  It’s what I listened to when I went to sleep. Can I listen to it tonight when I go to sleep?”

 

“Of course you can.”  He looks over when Taylor finally steps over to him.

 

“Dinner’s just about ready,” Taylor says before leaning in to give him a quick kiss.

 

“I figured you two would have eaten already.”  Zac sets Madeline down as he glances over at the clock.  “I know you normally eat a lot earlier than this on school nights.”

 

Taylor nods.  “Mady wanted to wait for you.”

 

Zac smiles as he looks back over to where Madeline is sitting at the table again.  “Well, I appreciate that.” His smile widens when Madeline beams at him. He looks at Taylor once again.  “I like coming home to you two here.” It's said so only Taylor can hear it.  

 

“We’ll talk at dinner."

 

Zac nods.  He watches Taylor move back over to the stove.  “Smells amazing. Need help with anything?”

 

“You wanna grab drinks?”

 

“I can do that.”  He smiles once again as he moves over to the fridge.  He never knew that this is the life he wanted, but it is.  He wants to come home to this every night… which scares him.  His smile fades as he closes his eyes. He can feel the familiar tingle flowing through him.  Taking a deep breath, he tries to will himself to calm down. He can’t do this now. He can’t do this in front of Madeline.  It’s one thing to have a panic attack around Taylor, but Madeline shouldn’t see it.

 

“Zac,” Madeline says.  “What’s wrong?”

 

Zac grips the door handle of the fridge.  This isn’t good. He shakes his head. “No…”  He jumps when he feels an arm slide around his waist from behind.

 

“It’s okay,” Taylor whispers, “I got you.”  He tightens his grip around Zac’s waist when the younger man tries to pull away.  “Don’t pull away, please.” He presses his lips to the side of Zac’s neck when he leans back into his hold.  “Breathe, it’s okay.”

 

“Daddy, what’s wrong?” Madeline asks.  

 

“Mady, hang on a second.”  Taylor can feel Zac starting to relax.  “Tell me what you need, Zac. I’m here.”

 

Zac lets his head fall forward as he finally feels his breathing return to normal.  “I’m okay,” he says. He rests a hand over Taylor’s. “I’m okay.” He turns and looks at the older man.  “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t apologize.”  Taylor rests his hand on Zac’s cheek.  “You don’t ever have to apologize.” He leans in and kisses him softly.  “You go sit with Mady, I’ll finish getting dinner ready.”

 

“Not yet.”  Zac slides his arms around Taylor’s waist.  “Just… not yet.”

 

Taylor continues to hold Zac, letting the younger man continue to calm himself down.  After another moment, Zac finally makes a move to pull back.

 

“I’m sorry,” he says softly.

 

“No, you haven’t nothing to apologize for.”

 

Zac is finally able to take a deep breath.  “I think I need to sit.”

 

“Go ahead.”

 

Zac moves over to sit down at the table with Madeline.  He can see her worried look as she watches him. “I’m okay, Mady.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I’m sure.”  He smiles at her.  “I could use a hug though.”

 

“I can do that!”  She slides out of her seat and is immediately in Zac’s arms.

 

Not too long ago something like this would set him into a panic.  Now? Now it actually relaxes him. Sure, he’d just had a small attack, but compared to what he’s been through?  That was nothing. And it was someone other than Avery who brought him back down. Not so long ago, having an attack in front of anyone would have sent him running.  

 

“Daddy gives better hugs than I do,” Madeline says as she pulls back.

 

Zac smiles at the young girl.  “I don’t know about that,” he says.  “Your hugs are pretty amazing.” He looks up when he feels Taylor squeeze his shoulder.  He smiles at the other man.  

 

“I think Mady and I can both agree, however, that your hugs are better than ours,” Taylor says.

 

“Yes!” Madeline exclaims.  “I love Daddy’s hugs…” She frowns a little.  “Daddy, is it bad that I like Zac’s hugs better than yours?”

 

“Not at all, Mady.”

 

* * *

  
  
Zac closes the bedroom door behind him before he moves to stand behind Taylor.  He slides his arms around the blond’s waist. “Thank you for earlier,” he says.

 

Taylor frowns.  “For what?” he asks.

 

“When I had the attack.”

 

“You don’t need to thank me.  I’m just glad I was able to help you through it.  I mean… I don’t know if it was me at all.”

 

“No, it was.”  He loosens his hold enough to allow Taylor to turn around.  “Not too long ago I would have run. In fact, you witnessed one of the runs.  Well, push I suppose.”  

 

Taylor rests his hands on Zac’s chest.  “I wasn’t gonna let you run this time. Or push me away.  I’m here, Zac. I know I have my own baggage, but I love you.”

 

Zac smiles as he rests his forehead on Taylor’s.  “I love you too.”


	18. Call

Taylor closes the door leading to the basement after he finishes working for the day.  It’s been just over a month since the basement of Headspin has been converted to Taylor’s studio and darkroom.  He waves at Avery as he approaches the counter. “I’m done for the day,” he says.

 

Avery smiles.  “Perfect timing,” she says.  “Because so am I.”

 

“Good.”  Taylor smiles.  “I didn’t even realize it was that late already.  Good thing I’m not needed at home.”

 

“Good thing.  I do have to ask.”  She gives him another smile.  “How’s it been at the apartment?”

 

Taylor sighs.  “It’s been rough.  It’s not the biggest place, but we’re managing.  I think this proves to both of us that it’s what we want.  Otherwise, I don’t know that either of us would have lasted this long.  We’re looking at a place in the morning though.”

 

“Zac mentioned that.  And it’s still near here, right?”

 

“Yeah, few blocks away.  So a little further, but still walkable.”

 

“That’s great.”

 

Taylor steps to the side to let Avery lock up after they get outside.  “Did you drive or take the Metra?”

 

“Metra.”  Avery puts her keys in her purse.  “No, I don’t need you to walk me to the station.  I appreciate it, but I’m actually meeting Zoe for dinner.”

 

“Okay.”  Taylor shakes his head.  “Text your brother so he doesn’t kill me.”

 

“I will.”  Avery kisses Taylor’s cheek.  “Goodnight, Taylor.”

 

Taylor gives her a quick wave.  “Night.” He heads toward the apartment and lets out a heavy breath.  He has to wonder how tonight’s going to go. With the way things have gone lately, anything can happen.

 

Taylor closes the door behind him after arriving at the apartment.  He walks into the living room to find Zac sprawled out on the couch.  “Hey,” he says.

 

Zac looks over and smiles.  “Hey. Was beginning to think you were gonna sleep at the studio.  If for no other reason to get away from me.”

 

Taylor snorts.  “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”  He kicks his shoes off. “I didn’t realize it was so late until I came up and Avery was closing up.”  He moves and sits down on Zac’s legs. “I’m sorry I didn’t call or anything.”

 

“Don’t be.”  Zac shrugs. “You hungry?  I can reheat dinner for you.”

 

“Hmm…”  Taylor looks at Zac and smiles.  “I’m thinking of something else right now.  He shifts before leaning down and kissing Zac.  “I think we need this.” He kisses Zac again.

 

Zac sighs happily against Taylor’s mouth.  “I like the way you think.” He smiles when Taylor shifts to lay down on top of him.  “Mmm… I really like the way you think.”

 

“I’m sure you do.”  He kisses Zac again, this time with more force behind it.  

 

Zac slides his hands down Taylor’s back before gripping the older man’s hips.  He moans softly when Taylor thrusts his hips forward. “Fuck,” he mutters.

 

Taylor grins.  “That sounds good to me.”  He lifts up enough to meet Zac’s gaze.  “We should move this into the bedroom.”

 

“I think that’s a good idea.”  Zac licks his lips as he watches Taylor stand up.  As he sits up to follow the man, he sees Taylor pulling his shirt off.  Zac bites down on his bottom lip, smirking when Taylor throws his shirt over at him.

 

“Come on.”

 

Zac stands up and follows Taylor down the hall and into the bedroom.  Reaching back, he pulls his own shirt off. He steps up behind Taylor, sliding his arms around the man, and placing soft kisses over his bare shoulder.  Taylor leans back into his hold and sighs happily.

 

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” Zac asks softly.

 

“Hmm… probably as much as I love you.”  Taylor turns in Zac’s arms, pulling him in for a kiss.  He’s reaching down to unbuckle Zac’s jeans when his phone rings.  “Of course.” 

 

“Ignore it.”

 

“I need to make sure it isn’t Amber.”  He takes a step back and pulls his phone from his pocket.  He frowns when he sees the name flashing on the screen. “It’s Issac.”

 

“Your brother?”

 

Taylor nods.  “Hello?”

 

Zac watches the look on Taylor’s face change even more.  It’s still a surprised look, but it’s different than when it was simply trying to figure out why Isaac was calling.

 

“Where is he?” Taylor asks.  He hangs up a few moments later.  “Um… I have… I need…”

 

Zac rests his hands on Taylor’s arms.  “Slow down, Babe. What happened?”

 

Taylor runs a hand through his hair.  “My parents were in an accident. Mom’s okay.  Dad’s… in surgery right now. I need… I need to be there.”

 

Zac nods.  “Let’s go.”

 

“What?”  Taylor stares at Zac in confusion.

 

“I’m not letting you drive like this first of all.  Besides that? I’m not letting you go there by yourself when you don’t know what you’re walking into.  Not just your Dad being in surgery. I’m talking about the rest of your family.”

 

Taylor nods.  “Okay.”  

 

Zac follows Taylor into the waiting room they’d been told to go to.  He easily spots Isaac, who’s immediately on his feet.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jessica asks with a growl.

 

“I called him,” Isaac says before Taylor can respond.

 

“Why would you do that?”

 

“Because he should know.  We may not agree…”

 

“He’s not part of this family anymore.”

 

Zac takes Taylor’s hand, giving it a squeeze.  “This isn’t about Taylor right now. This isn’t about me right now.”  He stares directly at Jessica as he continues to talk. “It’s about Walker Hanson being in surgery right now.  And whether you like it or not, Taylor should be here.”

 

Taylor looks at Zac and gives him a small smile.  “Thank you,” he says softly.  

 

Zac simply nods as he leads Taylor over to sit across from where Jessica and Isaac are.  “How’s Diana?”

 

Isaac gives Jessica a look when she snorts.  “She’s okay. Shaken up. She’s at home right now, resting.  Aaron and his Mom are there with her now. We told them we’d stay here for Dad.”

 

“And what’s going on with him?”

 

“Like you care,” Jessica mutters.

 

“He’ll be okay,” Issac continues.  “He was pinned in the car, but nothing too serious.  At least at that time. I guess we won’t know for sure until after the surgery.  His leg was caught and they had to go in and repair the broken bone. But as far as we know, that’s the worst of it.”

 

Zac nods as he looks at Taylor.  He gives the man a small smile. He knows Taylor wanted to ask the questions he had, but he also knows he wouldn’t be able to.  He’s not sure if he would have even been able to be here if he didn’t come with him.  

 

“I don’t understand why you called him,” Jessica says.  It’s obvious she doesn’t care that both Taylor and Zac can hear him.  “Mom doesn’t want him here. Dad certainly doesn’t want him here. I just can’t believe you would call him without talking to me about it.”

 

“Look, we may not agree with what he’s doing, but he’s still our family,” Isaac says.

 

“No, he stopped being our brother the second he met that fag.”

 

Zac shakes his head as he looks across at Jessica.  He can’t believe the woman is vile enough to focus on the fact that they’re here.  He drops Taylor’s hand when he tenses, wrapping his arm around his partner’s shoulders.  He hadn’t been surprised by the tension. Taylor rests his hand on Zac’s thigh as he leans against him.  Zac kisses his temple.

 

“It’s going to be okay,” Zac says softly.

 

“I hope so,” Taylor says just as softly.  “Thank you for being here.”

 

“Anything for you.”  

 

It isn’t long when a doctor walks in asking for Walker Hanson’s family.  Taylor stands up with Isaac and Jessica, while Zac stays where he is. Though, he does keep hold of Taylor’s hand as they listen to the doctor explain that everything went well.  He squeezes Taylor’s hand, letting him know that he’s still here for him.

 

Taylor looks down at Zac after the doctor walks out again.  “We can go now,” he says softly.  

 

“Are you sure?” Zac asks.

 

Taylor nods.  “Yeah.”

 

Zac stands up and nods.  “Okay.” He looks over when Isaac steps over.  He’s not sure what to expect at this point. It’s obvious there’s still a family bond that made him call Taylor.  However, he knows how Issac feels about him and his relationship with her brother.

 

“I’ll keep you informed of everything,” he says.

 

Taylor nods.  “Thank you. And thanks for calling.”

 

“Taylor…”  He shrugs. “I may not agree with this.  None of us may agree with it, but you are still their child.”

 

“Well…”  Taylor shrugs.  “Thanks.”

 

Zac slides his arm around Taylor’s shoulders as they leave the waiting room.  They stay silent the entire walk out to the car. It isn’t until Zac is pulling out of the lot when Taylor finally speaks.

 

“He didn’t have to call,” he says.

 

Zac glances over.  “No, he didn’t. But he did.”


	19. Take Me

Zac wakes up the next morning to an empty bed.  It isn’t too unusual, Taylor is usually up before him.  What makes him question it is the fact that he knows Taylor hadn’t slept much.  Zac climbs out of bed and makes his way out of the bedroom. He frowns when he finds the apartment empty.  He’s about to walk back to the bedroom to get his phone when he sees a note on the fridge.

 

_ Couldn’t sleep and not doing anything was driving me crazy.  In the darkroom. Love you, Tay. _

 

Zac smiles a little.  At least he knows where Taylor’s at.  He heads down the hall to get ready for the day.  

 

Almost an hour later, Zac is walking into the store.  He waves at Avery as he approaches the counter. “How’s it going?” he asks.

 

“Not too bad,” Avery answers.  “Everything okay with you and Taylor?  He was here before I even got here.”

 

Zac nods.  “We’re okay.  His brother called yesterday.  Their parents were in an accident.  Diana’s fine. Shaken up, but okay. Walker’s going to be okay.  He had surgery yesterday. His leg was pinned in the accident.”

 

Avery watches him.  “And his Brother called him about it?”

 

“Yeah.  His sister was not happy to see either of us there.  His brother wasn’t exactly thrilled. But he said that he’s still Walker’s child.  That being said…” He sighs. “I don’t know what’s going on in his head right now.”  He glances toward the curtain leading to the back. “I should go down and see him.”

 

“He’s in his darkroom, Zac.  You know you can’t go down right now.”

 

“I know.”  He lets out a heavy breath.  “I’ll text him and let him know I’m here.”

 

_ At the store now. Can I come down? _   Zac isn’t sure what kind of response he’s going to get, but it comes quicker than he thought it would.

 

**_Yeah._ **

 

He looks at Avery.  “I’m heading down. Call if it gets crazy.”

 

“I will.  Good luck.”

 

Zac closes the door behind him as he makes his way down to the basement.  He finds Taylor sitting outside of the darkroom. “Hey,” he says softly.

 

Taylor looks up.  “Hey,” he responds as Zac sits down beside him.  “Thank you for insisting on putting a couch down here.”

 

Zac grins.  “Any time.” He reaches over and takes Taylor’s hand.  “How you doing?”

 

Taylor shrugs.  “I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep.”  He shifts so he’s facing Zac. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up.”

 

“No, it’s fine.  I got worried but then I saw your note.”  He squeezes Taylor’s hand. “You’re too tense, Babe.”  He drops Taylor’s hand, moving it up to Taylor’s shoulder.  “Come ‘ere.” He squeezes Taylor’s shoulder as he pulls him over, kissing him softly.  He brings his free hand up to Taylor’s hair, curling his fingers into the soft locks. “What can I do to help?”

 

Taylor rests his hands on the sides of Zac’s neck.  “Something that I can’t ask for here,” he mutters.

 

“Try me.”  He meets Taylor’s gaze.

 

“Suck me.”  It’s said in barely a whisper, but Zac hears it loud and clear.

 

“Sit back.”  Zac stands up as Taylor shifts to sit against the back of the couch.  He drops to his knees, running his hands up and down Taylor’s thighs. He looks up at Taylor as he undoes the man’s jeans.  “Lift.” He tugs the denim along with his boxers down.  

 

Taylor licks his lips as he watches Zac wrap his hand around his cock, stroking it gently.  As he continues to watch Zac, he tries to remember the last time they were actually together.  He frowns at the thought. He can’t remember the last time. It’s been over a month because that’s how long they’ve been in the apartment and there hasn’t been a night together since then.

 

Zac shifts enough to lean over, taking Taylor’s cock into his mouth.  He hums as he starts bobbing his head slowly. It turns into a moan when he feels Taylor’s hand tangle in his hair.  He takes all of Taylor into his mouth, holding down for a moment until he feels Taylor shudder. He smiles up at the man after pulling up.

 

“Oh God,” Taylor mumbles.  He drops his head back and smiles a little.  “It’s been too long.”

 

Zac simply nods before licking up the base of Taylor’s shaft.  He closes his mouth around him once again, immediately bobbing his head once again.  He looks up at Taylor as best as he can, loving the way he looks right now. Taylor licks his lips as he meets Zac’s gaze.

 

“Feels so good,” Taylor mutters.  He bites down on his bottom lip so he doesn’t cry out.  He feels like he could let go already, but he can’t. He wants to make it last as long as he can.  Zac, however, seems to want him to lose it quickly. He thrusts up when he feels the tip of his cock hit the back of Zac’s throat again.  “Shit.” He tightens his grip in Zac’s hair. “Baby… oh God.” He drops his head back as he comes with a moan.

 

Zac pulls off him after a moment and looks up at him.  He watches as Taylor pulls his pants back up. He shifts to sit down beside Taylor.  Taylor reaches over and pulls Zac in for a kiss.

 

“Thank you,” Taylor says between kisses.  “I love you.”

 

“I love you.”  Zac rests his forehead on Taylor’s.  “I should probably get back upstairs and do some work.”

 

Taylor nods.  “Probably a good idea.”  Instead of letting Zac go, he curls his fingers along the sides of his neck.  He pulls him closer and kisses him again. “However, looks like you have a bit of a problem.”    He rests his hand over Zac’s bulge. “I think we should take care of this.”  

 

Zac smirks.  “You do, do ya?”

 

Taylor nods slowly.  “Zac…”

 

“Tell me what you want, Babe.”  He combs his fingers through Taylor’s hair.

 

“You.”  Taylor licks his lips as he moves to stand up.  He pulls Zac to his feet as well. “Please, take me.  Right here.”

 

“You sure?”

 

He nods as he pulls Zac around to the side of the couch.  He reaches down and undoes Zac’s jeans. “Please.”

 

“I don’t have anything.”

 

“Lotion.  I have lotion.”

 

Zac nods.  He can see how much Taylor needs this right now.  “Okay.” He kisses him softly before turning him around.  After pushing his pants down again, Zac bends Taylor over the arm of the couch.  It doesn’t take long to get them both lubed. He rests a hand on Taylor’s lower back as he guides himself into him.  

 

“Fuck,” Taylor groans.

 

Zac licks his lips.  “Tay, do you…?”

 

“If you pull out, I’m knocking you out.”  Taylor knows it comes out as a whine, but he doesn’t care right now.

 

Zac is tempted to argue, but he doesn’t.  Instead, he pushes fully into Taylor, stopping to let him adjust.

 

“Zac, move.  Take me.”

 

Zac grips Taylor's hips as he starts trusting at a slow pace.  He watches as the blond drops his head forward.  

 

“Fuck, Zac, more.”

 

Zac slides his left hand up Taylor's back to rest it on his shoulder as he quickens his movements.   With the noises Taylor is making, Zac is thankful that the sounds don't carry up the stairs. Taylor reaching back as best as he can and grips Zac’s thigh.

 

“Oh God,” Taylor whimpers.  “Harder. Please Zac.”

 

Zac doesn't waste any time in thrusting harder.  “So fucking tight, Babe.” He hasn't felt Taylor this tight since the first time.  “Damn, Tay. Do I need to stop?”

 

“No,” Taylor growls.  “Please, don't stop.” He digs his nails into Zac’s thigh.  

 

“Shit…”  Zac flips his hair back as he quickens his thrusts again.  With the way Taylor is tightening on him, he knows he won't be able to last long.  He shifts his hand from Taylor's shoulder up to tangle into his hair. He loves the way Taylor lets him pull on his hair gently.  

 

“Zac…”  

 

Zac gasps when Taylor manages to tighten on him even more.  “Oh fuck…” He slams into him one last time before he comes hard.  He slows his movements through his release.  

 

Taylor drops forward as he lets go once again.  “Oh God.”

 

Zac runs his hand up and down Taylor's back as he slips out of him.  “Stay there. I'll go grab some towels.” He frowns when Taylor stands up and pulls his pants back up.

 

“Don't worry about it.”  He leans in and kisses Zac.  “Thank you. I'm gonna head back to the apartment.”

 

“Do you want me to come with?”

 

“No, I'm fine.”  He tucks Zac back into his pants.  “You should get to work.”

 

Zac rests his hands on the sides of Taylor's neck.  “Come ‘ere.” He pulls the man closer and kisses him softly.  “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”  Taylor wraps his arms around Zac’s neck, kissing him again.


	20. Uncle Tay

Taylor looks out the window of the train when it pulls to a stop.  He’d missed the express train and now has to deal with all the stops.  Which now means he’ll be late to meet up with Zac to look at the condo.  He runs a hand through his hair as he takes another look at his phone. Not that it’ll help at all.  In fact, it makes him groan again. He quickly sends a text to Zac.

 

_ Running late. Will meet you at the condo. _

 

It’ll likely cause an argument later, but Taylor will deal with that when the time comes.  Right now he simply wants to deal with getting to the building.

 

After several minutes of no response from Zac, Taylor opens his messages up to make sure he actually sent it to the right person.  He definitely did and it definitely sent. Zac’s just ignoring him. Or maybe he just hasn’t looked at it yet. No, he knows that’s not true.  Zac’s actually ignoring him.

 

Taylor finally makes it to the building and walks inside.  He looks back at the texts to find the floor that he needs to go to.  It’s then he realizes just how late he is. He frowns as he waits for the elevator.  The moment the doors open, his frown deepens. Zac walks past him without saying a word.

 

“Zac…”  He follows him outside.  “Zac…”

 

“Running late?” Zac asks as he turns around.  “Running late is five minutes, maybe even ten.”

 

“I know.  I missed my train.  I was supposed to get the express.  I missed it and the one I got on stopped at all the stations.  I’m sorry.”

 

“So am I.”  He shakes his head.  “I have to get back to the store.”

 

“Zac…”  Taylor sighs as he watches Zac walk away without another word.  He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. He’ll let Zac have this time for now.

 

It’s nearly an hour later when Taylor walks into Headspin.  He sees Zac standing at the counter with his back toward him on the phone.  He can see the man throw a quick look over before returning to his call. He wants to wait and say something.  Instead, he walks through to the back to head down to his studio. He isn’t even sure why Zac’s so upset.

 

Taylor looks over a short time later when the door spins.  He watches as Zac steps in, unsure if he should say something or simply wait until Zac does.  He turns back to the picture he has developing.

 

“I’m sorry,” Zac says.  “I… I’m not even mad at you.  I just took it out on you. You missed your train.  Shit happens. It just…”  

 

Taylor hangs the photo before turning and looking at Zac.  “What happened?” He watches Zac shove his hands into his pockets.  

 

“I lost a contract with one of my vendors today.  It happened right before I left to meet you.”

 

Taylor steps forward, resting his hands on Zac’s hips.  “Come ‘ere.” He pulls the younger man against him. “Why didn’t you call me when it happened?”

 

“I didn’t want to burden you.”

 

“Zac…”

 

“I know.”  Zac sighs as he relaxes into Taylor’s hold.  “The condo sucked. You didn’t miss anything.”

 

Taylor turns his head to kiss Zac’s temple.  “What was wrong with this one?”

 

“The bedrooms were small and the kitchen is smaller than the one we have now.”  He wraps his arms around Taylor’s middle. “We’re never going to find a place.”

 

“You’re being a bit dramatic.”

 

“Yeah maybe.”  He pulls back and kisses Taylor.  “I should head back upstairs. We okay?”

 

“We’re good.”  Taylor smiles against Zac’s mouth when he kisses him again.  “We’ll find a place.” He drops his arms when Zac finally takes a step back.  “Need me to do anything?”

 

Zac lets out a soft laugh.  “Later, at home.” He reaches over and squeezes Taylor’s butt cheek.

 

Taylor smirks.  “Anyway you want, Babe.”

 

* * *

  
  
Zac walks out of the back room, shutting the lights off as he goes.  He makes his way toward the front, frowning when he hears the bell on the door ring.  Apparently, he’d forgotten to lock the door before heading to the back. He’s about to announce that they’re closed, but he sees a teenager standing there.  Zac stops his approach. The kid looks familiar.  

 

“You’re Zac, right?”

 

Zac shoves his hands into his pockets as he nods.  “I am.” He watches the kid shift nervously and that’s when it hits him as to who this is.

 

“You don’t know me, but I’m…”

 

“Taylor’s nephew.”

 

“Carter.  Um…” Carter shifts again.  “I didn’t… I went to the house, but he’s gone.”

 

“He sold the house.”  It’s out of Zac’s mouth before he can even think if it’s a good idea to tell him or not.”

 

“Oh.  I should… I’ll go.”  Carter turns to walk out of the store.

 

“Carter, wait.”

 

“Look, I know I have no right to find him.  But he needs… I need him to know that I don’t care.  I mean, if it’s true. I don’t… They won’t tell me anything.  But… is it true? Is Uncle Taylor…? Does he like…? He’s with you, right?”

 

Zac lets out a soft breath.  “He is.”

 

“And that’s why they don’t talk to him anymore?  That’s so stupid. He’s family.”

 

“Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that don’t accept it.”

 

“Can you…?  Can you tell him I miss him?”

 

Zac nods.  “Or you can tell him yourself.  We live right down the street.”

 

Zac looks behind him as they reach the top of the stairs.  He isn’t sure what to expect when Taylor sees Carter. He still isn’t sure how he feels about Carter being here.  But it’s Carter that’s reached out. He opens the apartment door and walks in, letting Carter follow him.

 

“Tay,” he calls out.

 

“Be right there,” Taylor calls back from the bedroom.

 

Zac gestures toward the couch.  “You can sit.” He watches Carter walk over and take a seat.  He looks back over toward the hallway at the sound of footsteps.

 

“I was beginning to think you changed…”  Taylor stops in his tracks the moment he steps into the living room.  “Carter.”

 

Carter stands up quickly.  “Uncle Taylor, I um… Maybe this was… I should…”

 

Taylor steps forward, in front of Carter.  Before he can actually say anything, Carter is hugging him.  Taylor returns his nephew’s hug.  

 

“I miss you, Uncle Tay.”

 

Taylor smiles at the boy when they pull apart.  “I miss you too.” He pulls him in for another hug.  “Carter, does your Dad know you’re here?”

 

“No.”  Carter frowns as he looks at Taylor.  “They don’t even know I’m gone. They probably still haven’t figured it out.”

 

Taylor lets out a soft breath.  “Carter…”

 

“I couldn’t take it anymore, Uncle Tay.  I hate that I can’t see you. I hate that I can’t see Madeline.  You’re my family. I don’t care what they say. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

 

“It thrills me to hear you say that.  You have to call him, though. They will figure out that you aren’t home and will be worried.”

 

“I can’t… they’ll kill me.  Will you call him?”

 

Taylor sighs.  He knows it’s likely not a good idea for him to call Isaac, but he also knows he won’t let Carter get yelled at.  He finally nods. “Okay.” He squeezes Carter’s shoulder. “I’ll call him.” He looks over at Zac before he moves to sit on the couch.  He finds his brother’s name and presses send. His eyes close when he hears the phone ringing. He’s nervous and he hates himself for it.

 

“Hello?” Isaac answers, already sounding annoyed.

 

“Hi,” Taylor says softly.  “Listen…” He looks at Carter.  “I don’t know if you’ve realized it yet or not, but Carter is not there.”

 

“I’m aware.”  Isaac sighs. “I take it he’s there?”

 

“Yeah.  I just wanted you to know so you weren’t worried about him.  I mean… obviously, you’ll be worried because he’s not home.”

 

“How long has this been going on, Taylor?  Because this isn’t the first time he’s snuck out.”

 

Taylor raises an eyebrow at his nephew.  “I haven’t seen him in months, Isaac. He sought me out.”  He can hear his brother sigh.

 

“I’ll come get him.”

 

Taylor looks at Carter after he ends his call with Isaac.  “Where did you go the other times?”

 

Carter shifts uncomfortably.  “I um…”

 

“Carter, this isn’t the first time you’ve snuck out.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Talk to me, kid.  What’s going on?”  

 

“I’m not doing anything wrong or illegal or anything like that.  There’s a new kid at school. He gets made fun of a lot. But… not by me.  At first, I didn’t do anything. But we had to do a project together and he’s really cool.  A little weird, but not in a bad way. So we started hanging out. But Dad can’t know. So I sneak out to see Seth.”

 

“Why?  Why can’t your Dad know?”  Taylor is pretty sure he knows the answer, but he wants to actually hear it from Carter.  

 

“Seth’s gay.  I’m not… I don’t…”

 

“Carter, relax.  Just because you’re friends with him, doesn’t mean it makes you gay.”

 

“I hate that Dad won’t let me see you.  I had to sneak out tonight. I miss you.  I don’t want to hate you.”

 

“I don’t want you to hate me.  But you can’t be sneaking out like this.  You need to talk to Isaac. Tell him how you feel.”

 

“He won’t listen.”

 

“Make him listen.  I can tell you that sneaking out like this won’t help your cause.  I’ll try to talk to him when he gets here. For now? Sit.”

 

Zac isn’t sure how much time actually passes when there’s a knock on the door.  He looks at both Taylor and Carter as he stands up. “I got it,” he says. “I’m warning you now if he says anything, he’s getting punched.”  He walks over and pulls the door open. The man standing before him isn’t the man he remembers as Taylor’s brother. Sure, this is Isaac. But this man looks defeated.

 

“Is he okay?” Isaac asks.  “Carter, is he okay?”

 

Zac nods.  “Yeah.” He throws a look back at the couch before he steps out into the hallway with Isaac.  “He misses Taylor. This is the first time he’s come here. Taylor hasn’t talked to any of you since everything went down.”  He crosses his arms over his chest. “I would normally never step past whatever that invisible line is, but I really don’t care at this point.  You better pull your head out of your ass if you don’t want to lose your son.”

 

Isaac frowns as he looks down at his feet.  “Did he tell you where he’s been going?”

 

“It’s not my place to tell you.”

 

“I just need to know that he’s been safe and not getting in trouble.”

 

“Ask him yourself.”  Zac opens the door again and leads Isaac inside.

 

Taylor stands up the moment he sees his brother.  “Isaac, I didn’t know he was coming here.”

 

“I know,” Isaac says.  He watches as Zac steps up beside Taylor.  “I um…” He clears his throat and looks at his son.  “Carter, this has to stop.”

 

“I’ve never come here before,” Carter says.  “But I wanted to see Uncle Tay. I miss him. And I hate you for keeping me from him.”

 

“Where have you been going?  If you haven’t been coming here, where do you go?”

 

Zac moves to sit down beside Carter.  “Talk to him,” he says.

 

“There’s a new kid at school.  His name is Seth. He’s a little older, but he’s in my class.  He got held back when he was younger. But…” Carter shrugs. “We have a lot in common.”

 

“And why did you think you would have to hide this?”

 

“He’s gay.”

 

Isaac nods.  “I see.” He throws a quick look at his brother before focusing on his son again.  “Well, I have to ground you for sneaking out like this. Taylor, can we talk? Just us?”

 

Taylor sucks in a deep breath but nods.  “Yeah, of course.”  

 

Zac squeezes Taylor’s shoulder.  “Come on, Carter. We’ll take a walk.”

 

Taylor looks at Isaac after Zac and Carter walk out.  “If I knew he’d been sneaking out, I would have called.”

 

“I know,” Isaac says.  He shoves his hands into his pockets.  “Dad came home yesterday. He’s doing good.  Mom’s driving him crazy already.”

 

Taylor grins.  “I can only imagine.  I know I shouldn’t have shown up at the hospital like I did…”

 

“No, you should have been there.  Like I said, you’re still their son.  Despite what they say.” Isaac sighs. “I think I always knew, Tay.  About you. You were always different. I think I just…” He shrugs. “I let Mom and Dad blind me from what was actually there.  I let Elaine do the same thing.”

 

Taylor raises an eyebrow as he watches his brother.  “Meaning what?”

 

“Elaine and I have separated.  Carter doesn’t know. I don’t think he does anyways.  I don’t fully understand, Taylor. I don’t understand because they never let me.  But the fact is I don’t understand. But… I’m going to try. Carter’s right. It’s been unfair to him to not be able to see you and Madeline.  And while I can’t promise anything, I am going to try.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with me, Isaac.  I was born this way. Zac didn’t make me this way.”

 

“I know.”  Isaac lets out a soft breath.  “I see how happy you are. I see how happy he makes you.  I’m not saying it’s going to be easy for me, but I’m gonna try.”


End file.
